"You're not one of them", he says
"I can tell, I got this GIFT, see?"
The relief clear on his animated face
Too twitchy, too... off
"They watch us, you know?
They got those satellites and ****
They'll read your ID through your pocket
Then they gotcha!"
I nod, only mildly alarmed
And throw down my smoke.
Step on it to make sure it's out
"Only you can prevent forest fires"
A childhood echo
He picks it up
Looks wildly around
"Your DNA is on that! Epithelials!
I seen it! I seen it on that CSI!"
I mumble something
His eyes narrow. He laughs too hard.
"Kidding man, I'm just kidding"
He skitters off, like an ant missing 4 legs
I look up, and nod to the ****** on the roof.

~JNc
9-15

Crime scene near the house
Police rushing to that place
Me locking every single door
Oh what else could I do
Grabbed every single thing that could be a weapon
Even things that aren't effective
Scared that these evil doers will come at my door
Countless thoughts keep coming at me
I'm seriously praying the rapture would come instead

My brain must hate me.
What reason, other than that, to explain why I'm constantly tortured by the mental image of him. And her.
Him and her.
Him with her.

Miss Wilde
Miss Wilde
he says with a smile
Miss Wilde
Miss Wilde
  he shakes his silly head

I cook a grand meal
but not without leaving behind a mess
  Classic Miss Wilde
he says
  Classic Indeed!

I'm ***** and clumsy
efficient but messy
I mix up my words
pronounce things funny
I sit on the floor
in funny positions
I'm kind but sarcastic
innocent but *****
knocking things over
tripping over flat surfaces
stealing the blankets
sleeping in strange positions
these things he calls quirky
these things he says are part of me
these things make me scared
one day he'll say
Oh Miss Wilde
        Miss Wilde
        I've known you awhile
        But you're just a child
        Miss Wilde
        You had me beguiled
         But your personality is really quite mild
         Miss Wilde
         Your antics have got me all riled
         You're wild Miss Wilde
         and I'm absolutely reviled
         so go on your way
         get out get out
         to the sandbox and play
         because you're just a child
         My dear young Miss Wilde

She walks on egg shells
        there is no second chance
she wears a dress of broken glass
         the consequences will be dire
She's heard it all her life
          this isn't baseball- there's only one strike
Even in drama games
          one small ***** up
                  one unintentional mistake
                          the crowd goes wild
                                 SHEEEEEEEE'SSSSSS OUT OF HERE!

Committed dream suicide, entered void, voice spoke deepest darkest fear.

Searching for peace
Amsterdam in 1998
Not all of 'i' returned in 99
But i was confusing
Happiness with contentment
Still searched, relentless
Even after the implosions
Decided to give myself
To the highest feelings
(when I still had feelings)
To join it, not become it
You seem to search
For my stupid opinions
Now, listen
I breathe out
Now, i can
'paranoidly'
Recognise some of your
Patterns, are you trying
To force me to reject
And fight you?
You had everything
You needed beforehand
And you abused the hand
You fed from
I want to forgive
I want to forget
(more than I already do)
The struggle
Would be good for me
I know that.
I know that
You should never allow
That
(paranoid again, sorry)
I want my arms
To encircle and crush
My current existence
But currents and vibes
Are all your creation
And my inflection.
I really dont think
I need your arms anymore
(sure, it would be nicer, maybe easier)
But if you knew me before
Why are you surprised?
I knew kids could be cruel
Tougher lesson is
Knowing adults never grow anywhere
And have more tools of manipulation
Than an innocent at the point of
Creation.

I tapped into a magic realm
I didn't even know was there--
found a phantom ghost
with firelight and embers
glowing in its hair--

                                was this a spirit
                                coming for me
                                                              ­someone who might
                                                           ­   somehow set me free
and bring me along
to another life
away from this hell I'm in?

                                                            ­ OR what if this is a monster
                                                              (n­ow that I see its evil grin)
                                                   and it wants to torture me even more?

What if I can't escape this spirit
through an open door...
and I become trapped for all of time?
oh dear, dreams are haunting me again
in this crazy realm of mine!