I'm feeling oh so lonely

and just need to be alone.

Got a drive to conquer,

but I'll sleep instead.

I'm too afraid to dance

when I just need to move.

Don't ask me to speak,

cause I have too much to say.

I'll wear a frozen mask

right beside my heart of fire.

Yeah, it keeps me warm,

and it burns me alive.

I'll joke with hard logic,

I just don't follow its rules.

I'm always dreaming,

even when I can't fall asleep.

No reason to leave,

but I don't have the itch to stay.

Always hard to just say no

unless you're someone I know.

I see that sometimes I'm wrong,

and sometimes it's not worth being right.

I'm a second-rate romantic

believing in a first-rate love.

I'm quiet and shy

going crazy inside.

Please don't look at me,

but I need you to see me.

Can't say I understand

the paradox inside me.

If true love is blind
how can it find its way?

I don't like writing
What's the point?
It remains untouched
And eternally dead
Wasted space
A waste of time
I should've left this page blank
For no one to see
And nobody to remember

I pretend that I am beautiful in that blissful time of solitude.
I can trace the ***** of my nose,
the pout of my lips,
and I am beautiful.

The reality of my reflection is no longer there; only my beautiful mind.
No realist outlook can interfere.

When I'm alone; nothing can ruin the echoes of my mind.
No mirror can tear it down.
No tangible force can destroy the real beauty.
Beauty is all that is there in the hypnosis of solitude.

Love is all that I feel with the freedom of nothing.
My illness is cured.
My heartache fades.
My haunting is reversed.

I am alone with the beauty within.
Surrounding me,
inside of me,
alongside of me.

But once I step out of my mind; I am pushed into a heartbreak greater than all.
The heartbreak of myself.
The confrontation of my reflection.
The fire inside ignites once again; and I am locked into a paradox.

Until I am alone.

I want to drown you so I can forget your face,
Pretend like you never existed here
because being here means you are real,
and this reality has broken something I once had ,
leaving me suffocating in my own silence

For the sands of time should be non-existent
as it’s abilities cannot be changed for just one love,
a love that can be forgotten but never altered,
a desire that can never be tamed but only burn brighter

And finally comes my downfall in this bottomless pit,
where only I stand alone in regret and solitude
For the fault here is mine,
For requiring something I cannot take,
rather only something that can be given with sincerity

But to leave this with dignity is too far gone to ask,
A wish of mine that can never be realised,
a pursuit of mine that can only be a paradox
instead of a fixed truth or reality

The unknown silence is killing me.

madness! madness! madness!

the mad ones are madness!
the minds are destroyed by madness!
ginsberg is madness!
kerouac is madness!
shakespeare is madness!
"perhaps" is madness!
duality is madness!
dichotomy is madness!
juxtaposition is madness!
oxymoron is madness!
paradox is madness!
love is merely a madness!
and it's all in my mind--

perhaps it isn't madness,
after all.