Surprised that I distrust myself,
You don't even trust me!
Just living the way I'm raised,
But is that the way to be?

Do not like my different ways,
Say it's okay to be unique!

Your sayings alarm me
Your paradox knocks me,
Your words confuse me,
Your words are, you act so
Confusingly contradictory.

My hearts a ***** for you.
It would crack open my knuckles in pain,
Even to count everything again,
Simple I know but its true -
Because I just can't say no to you.

My skins a martyr written in flesh,
I wonder...
Which way can it fold and which way can it stretch?
But I wont cry for you.
It brakes and stutters over words of din,
Paralyzed and looking for some other kin.
For better words to say -- for when the door shuts.

I would name you a monster,
or call on a god.
For little can be left behind when it's written in song,
Midnight kisses sunken in a melody,
Please don’t make me wait too long.
Changing my screams for a new painted faces,
Sickening fake smiles,
They chase me
Into the dark growths of night.
This stage of chaos.
This fool and jester.
At least we had a nice time,
While I performed away my soul.

Sweetheart, our paradox is this:
surely loving you will be the death of me,
but the life I live without you…
I would rather not exist.

J.c.A

Eating luscious forbidden apples in your garden,
was a pleasure not to be spoken in front of others.
I agreed in a silent conspiracy with you, nevertheless,
it remains an ache, in the tender muscles of my heart,
which I love to nurse with relish,whenever I get a chance