i wish i could see your grief,
lead them by my own two hands,
then give them a room big enough in
me to fit them and their lingering shadows.

This is my recovery
I’m not where I want to be
I can’t shake these memories
Of the person I used to be
The scars fade but
They’re the scars that made me
The scars that saved me
Now I’m a little closer to whole
Filling in the holes that I wore through this soul of mine
I’ve been run ragged carrying around all this baggage
It gets too heavy after a while and it’s time to stop and steady myself
Why don’t you just lay it down?
This road keeps going up ahead
There are more ways to move on and one day you will be found
No sense in stopping now
There’s life up ahead
Living one day at a time
I keep filing through the pain in my head
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace
One day this life will stop and the you you knew will cease to exist
There’ll be nothing left but what you did with all the pain
Take a breath
Take a step
Let someone know
Life will ebb and flow
But we’re better off with you
We’re better off because you kept going
This is my recovery
But it’s not just mine

Tale of the none, with silence
The risks we endeavor, are forever?
And a daydream, that has a moment to suffice
Create me an avid soul, shrewder thoughts for lovers...

People of charming since
And guarantee's hence, with a smile
Of recourse, I will know a rage, insight lends
The times of virtue in calm, and duty to shyness...

Mercy in a carried few
Witnessing the gifts and presence of mind
With the senses of curiosity come patience, we due
To a passion of simply asking for help, in time

Allied solace, the terms and needs of equity
Privileged intuitions of a charity in call, and prowess
The turn of composure into gold, absentia in divinity
Suggesting hope, is a long cool look at love we guest

Many days like these
Energy in forms we can understand
Solitude forth a response, to aging tomorrows we please
First and foremost, the basis of comparison to answer a land

My needs are my promise
Salutations in couth, the liberty to accept austerity
With the sincerity of kind, a sharing seemliness of the wise?
And to a shrewder how in the season of now, the candidness of disparity?

Recently “minutes” or recently “hours”?
Recently, minutes were reasonably ours.
Like how I “recently” saw him at the grocery store,
And “recently” went back, hoping I might again.

Sure, we spoke…
Recently.

So I logged on, recently,
Just to see what’s up.
That’s how it always is,
And the status is always the same:
“Recently”

You don't have to search anymore
It’s okay, I’ll be your company
As we’ll be dreaming under different skies
Cloud nine resting , still, we can settle,
My embrace will be your home,
Your eyes will ground me
This feeling, our only battle

We grew in this yard
in between the broken glass and dog ****
vine inches
minutes by hours by days
roots crept in an inconsistent soil
and growing despite

To arrive now with weekend garden centre eyes
you may see weakness in some leaves
that belies the truth of a fragile fruit
long nurtured from blood
and uncompromising viticulture

And if you try to claim the bouquet
or the legs on that glass
or the complexity of hard fought tannins
and subtle warmth
and lasting aftertaste

Then you will see us spit

did we have better plans?
was the world ours?
was it going to be
something we could be?
and with that wish -
with that breath -
with that hold on the world -
it was ours
it was really yours
but with that
maybe it was mine
too

i'll hang on to tomorrow
until my fingers are fiery and blistered
and even then