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This life has become more than I ever wanted it to be and the future looks even more hopeful as far as I can see.
sage silcross Sep 2017
I tried to **** myself before

but I saved myself then

If I want to die now

I know I will save myself again
Benji James Aug 2017
Give me the sunrise
Give me a new dawn
Let the sun soak into my skin
I'm so optimistic
A future shining so bright 

Give me the setting 
of the sun
rising over the ocean

Let me feel the heat

In this good feeling of emotion

I'm starting to pave my way

To the place, I've been trying to create

The one that is filled with serenity

The one that gives me the inner peace

That I need 
and wanted so badly

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

The sad memories
Are buried six feet under
I don't want to feel another
I held onto so much doubt
The pills wouldn't even drown it out
I had to work so hard
Just to be able to let go of my past
They say that is what makes your future
But I'll be ****** if I'm judged by a jury
I'll be ****** if I let life do that to me
I was hit and kicked while I was down
But I've got skin made of armor now
And I'm happy with where I'm at
That is something no one can take
And now I'm somebody
who doesn't easily break

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

I've taken every task
Thrown my way
I've given all the blood
I can give
I've said every word
To band aid that hurt
I've got scars that show
But they're just a reflection
Of who I used to be
I'm starting to look at life
with more positively
I'm starting to feel more secure
with who I am
I'm starting to feel happy within myself
that is something that has been
a long time coming
Now my world isn't crumbling
Before my eyes
Now I've seen hurt heal with time

I'm burying my past
Don't you dare allocate your allegations
It's time to move on
Time to look up
I'm tired of drowning in the sorrows
I'm tired of this smile I borrowed
I want to feel the warmth
Of happiness inside
I want that in my life

©2017 Written By Benji James
anshika gehani Jul 2017
I was born to be something big,
I was born to fly,
I was born to look into the world,
With the sweetest smile.

I was born to defeat insecurities,
I was born to win,
I was born to be in reality,
And yet love my own world.

I was born to be what  I want,
I was born to be an optimist,
I was born to be proud as  I am,
I was born to think.

And yet even if I was born for all this,
I was also born with some flaws,
But that does not make me weak,
They are the arts of my own.
Àŧùl Jul 2017
There's not even a straw of hope,
How to be optimistic puzzles me.
I won't ever have any of the dope,
How to escape what bothers me.
I don't have any moral support,
I'll stop being whitlessly witless.
For that I need some more love.
My HP Poem #1617
©Atul Kaushal
Benji James Jun 2017
Lyrics just aren't hitting
Like they should
Everything I've been doing
Just hasn't been that good
I'm losing faith
Too busy chasing girls
Putting dreams in the fire to burn
Why I try and find love only to get burned
When will I ever learn
I should put these dreams first
Just keep letting lines fly out the window
Like I'll remember that even though I don't
Thought I was killing it
Truth is no ones feeling this
And I've lost the connection
I once had, feel disconnected
It's all going bad

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

Not gonna let another line
Just slip through the cracks
I want them to take notice
I want them to see the flame is still there
See I'm still striving for greatness
Come to far to turn back now
And if they don't take notice that's alright
I'll find something that will capture the mind
I have and I can
Sometimes I wonder if anyone understands
The things I'm going through
And the proof is in the words
that I write
This is the story of my life
Within the lines that I write
If you want to know me
It's right in front of your eyes
Always throwing my heart out on the line

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

It's in these songs
That's where I belong
It's in the sentences
My emotions lie
It's in the way I write
It brings out the thoughts of my mind
It's the power it brings
It's the inspiration it gives
That makes it so special to me
It's the way it can change somebodies life
It's the way it always changes mine
It's the way it can make me see things in a positive light
The time it's always been mine
I'm grasping on, yeah ready to fly
Aim high, will you come along with me for the ride

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James Jun 2017
She's been looking for love
In all of the wrong places
Dancing in the club
Making out under the stars
She likes a guy who's a little bad
But when things get rough
She gets sad
And now she's mad at herself
Because she knew better
Then to trust a guy with a bad side

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

She's sitting on a park bench
Leaves fall from the trees
She loves that autumn breeze
She's staring at clouds
Making out shapes
Pondering life
and the way she's changed
Since her troublesome teen days
And she remembers back
To the promise she made
After the wrong decisions, she made

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

She's been sitting on the train
On the way to catch a plane
She feels the need to get away
She's still looking for love
Yeah she's been searching for the one
She's tired of lonely nights
She's ready to find Mr right
Just someone who is nice
She doesn't want another
Memory filled with misery
She just want to feel that
Heart beating to a melody
One last time but this time
For the rest of her life

These two souls
weren't meant to collide
These two souls
were in the wrong place
At the wrong time
He's her biggest regret
She holds up her head
And says

I'm only human
I make mistakes
At least I'll learn
From the ones I make
Sometimes I'll get lost
But I'll find my way
I'll find my true love
At the right place
At the right time
One day

©2017 Written By Benji James
Benji James Jun 2017
Twenty-seven years
Of losing out in love
Twenty-seven years
Of never giving up
On anyone I love
Full of hate, But full of love
Full of courage, Full of heart
I’ve fallen down
But I got back up
Got lost, been stuck
Found a way back out
But fell right back in

Twenty-seven years
I’m still holding on
Twenty-seven years
All the best parts of me gone
I’m still staying strong
But for how long?
Every day could this be my last song
Twenty-seven years
and it all goes wrong
Twenty-seven minutes
Bad lucks born
So many decisions
but I’m still torn

Ever since childhood memories
I’ve had enemies
I’ve lost energy
trying to fight
With all of my might
I’m losing sight
through all these hard times
Through every single line
through every rhyme
Through everything I write
You get a glimpse
Into my troubled mind
So appreciate the time
That I’ve put in
To every word
From all the hurt
In my heart
From all my broken love

Twenty-seven years
It’s taken to come to terms
With all, I’ve had to learn
Twenty-seven years
I’ve learned to burn
All the rage, the hate
Wipe clean the slate
Twenty-seven years
I’m still around
Twenty-seven years
I’m standing my ground
Against the tides, the crowd
It gives me a reason to shout
My passion out loud
Standing tall and proud
Before I’m taken out
In the final round

Twenty-seven years
Twenty-seven years

©2017 Written By Benji James
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