long, slow, standing-in-the-middle-of-the-street kisses

walk-me-outside, knew-this-was-coming, i-was-expecting-you kisses

1:30-in-the-morning kisses: soft, sleepy, simple

sparkling, rushed all-of-a-sudden kisses

you-still-taste-like-champagne kisses

brand-new-beginning kisses, kisses that turn the clock,

cross from the old year to the new.

“one more,” you kept saying, “one more, one more, one more."

You ask me if I have a
“New Years Resolution,”

Honey,
I gotta write myself
A new constitution.
Ima start a personal revolution
Cuz I made a conclusion:
I wasn’t being the best person I could’ve,
I wasn’t.

Didn’t take risks or chances that I could’ve,
I wouldn’t.

I didn’t see the good in front of me,
I couldn’t
But I wanted.

Ima treat myself better
Than how I treat my best friends
I’m start things and finish’em
Right till they end

Ima love a bit harder than ever before
Ima even call my mum a little bit more.

Ima tell everyone I adore that they deserve mountains instead of molehills,
Cause they’re all modest in nature and indulge wisely like mice
You deserve every grain in that small bowl of rice
Even if you don’t want to admit it
Even if you don’t realise

Ima sing
Ima craft a love song through the notes that I write
Through my scribbles and nibbles
Gonna treat my lovers right

My friends
my companions
my sisters and brothers
I’ll smother y’all with cheesy ****
Like the personal poet you never had

And I’m glad
That I have the nicest humans
Who I only met in happenstance
Who listen to my ramblings
And the dramatic ways of my circumstance

Maybe this year
I write something brilliant,
Jubilant,
Magnificent
But if I can manage to make someone smile
That would already be significant

If you asked me for my New Years Resolution,
I couldn’t really answer you,
The goals I have in mind
Are really far from “just a few.”

That night we uncorked the moon
champagne stars burst forth,
incandescent among the heavens.
We conversed with the Gods.
Swung like children upon their laughter.
Endless drunken words hung from lips
like jewels on the neck of Aphrodite.
Amorous and intoxicated,
we, the ephemeral veins,
uncorked the moon
and found ourselves among stars.

When the last strained
chord of the parade
blew sour and home sounded
good again and all the trash
was meticulously placed
on the floor there was
a bottle rocket peeling
past the grim-faced throng

to adorn ribcages
with a scatter of sparks
the desperate stink
of burning hair wafted

all was transgressed
and now the walk
of shame.

a swig of honeyed
gin and all was
right again

until next year

I couldn't see anyone
I couldn't touch anything. I tried to reach the bottom, but it just wasn't there. There wasn't a kelp forest, the Empire state building would have really only stood one and a half of what they said was going to be three or four times what it was. There weren't any smoke vents or even hot springs. It was like looking for Earth from space but looking the other way.
Saturday, December 27th we drove three blocks in your car, with a dummy in the backseat rocking ready-to-wear. You asked if we should put her back inside of your room, but after I taught you to fill your tires between 3.5-4 psi, $1.50 later we realized we didn't even want to begin to try.

Shocked

that I took the Blue Line and even
transferred to a bus.
All along I would have taken any L
if I thought it would have
brought us more love.

Two hours later the devil is riding me, and I'm carrying a sickle blade at my hip. A simple gift for a single father who unexpectedly remodeled where I live.

Deep black and blue. Descending into the bathykolpian abyss. Five small black plastic garbage bags filled with 8-year old kid.