I have 100% been through hell. I have been through so much my whole life. I've been judged and bullied for 10 years. I've been hurt physically, emotionally, and mentally. I've been threatened over and over again. I've been Abandoned and alone a lot for long amounts of time. I've felt love toward someone for 10 years (almost 11), that person hurt me 3 times and put through heart shattering pain.

Do you know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you love so much that you don't know what to do with yourself? Do you know what it's like to love someone for 10 years, then get rejected and your heart broken by that same person and still love and wanna be with them? Do you know what it's like to hate yourself so much that your too ashamed to go or do anything, because your too fat, too ugly, or you just don't fit in?

Well all of that, It's me. Every last bit. I know I am a crazy mess. I know I am a pathetic, ugly, fat, loser, that has a loving caring family, but a really messed up life. That is the person I am in my eyes. So if you really think I am "all that", a "showoff", someone who's "perfect". Yeah, well, Guess what... There is no such thing as "perfect" and I know that very well.

I do not do or go through all this ******* to get attention.
I do not tell you who I am or "show the real me" because I will scare you away like everyone else.

So.. I guess this is goodbye because I know you'll run like everyone else.

Diamonds, pearls, gimme that gucci
Theres more important things why we trip pin bout some loui
Then i hear the kids screaming with no food to go to school with
When i hear them bells ringing i just think we so clueless
We degrade each other, we degrade ourselves
We never read the books, we just knock em´ off the shelves
Judging by they covers, don't believe in nothing else
Coz a person ain´t **** if they win´t high up on that wealth
Right, wrong
We straying from the purpose, we disrespect each other
And the people that have birthed us
We hatin on our loved ones
And loving who have hurt us
We forget about what means the most
And dwell on what we purchase
Forget all of that it´s not worth it
And stop thinking you gotta be perfect
We all different, we all shine like diamonds
Sometimes you gotta dig deep just so you can find them
Listen to my voice, put the blade down
I know you think that´s you only true escape now
Them scars on your arms ain´t worth the pain now
And them screams that were silent have regained they main sound
If they don´t love you for who you are that´s their issue
When you lying dead on the floor could they fix you?
When you on the news you really think that they´d miss you?
They pretend like they care, turn around and forget you
And all the racism truly makes me sick
We hating on each other cuz the skin we born with?
We take from each other, stab and **** one another
Stereotype a person cuz they white or a brother
I'm confused
We ****** up like the drugs we use
We go killin motherfuckes just for upgraded shoes
I´m a tad disappointed in this new generation
I done grew up in the jungle i´m just tryna find my way in
Really, i´m just tryna find a exit
I'm running to the end but its like a maze with no direction
Im passing every corner nd I'm feeling disconnected
Its like hate is a disease and I'm the only one not infected
So god, let em´ not disregard, that the beauty outside reflects from one good heart, and it don´t matter where you came from, it don't matter where you start
We gone make it to the finish line together not apart
Together not apart
It don't matter where you came from, it don't matter where you start we gone make it to the finish together not apart
Together not apart

i guess it's confusing
the way i say i love talking to you,
but i never message you back

so how did it get to be
that i am the one talking first
waiting on you to respond
and never getting an answer

you were the one person that i was comfortable with
and now we never talk,

or actually you never talk

so i am left talking to myself
hoping that you'll start talking back

To some she is a shining light
A flash of hope amongst the dark
An optimistic helping hand
To pull you from the dark
And cheer your sorrow

To some she is a black hole
Pulling the world down with sadness
Reliving the past that broke her
And stabbing others with the shards

To some she is simple words
plastered on a white canvas painting a picture.
never more
but never less

To most she is unnoticeable
A tiny footnote scribbled in the corner of a forgotten notebook
A wall flower whose thorns push away all but those with the key to her locked heart.

When you ask me what she is
The answer is impossible
Because I don't know

But I can tell you what she's not

She is not a beautiful face, to stop you in a crowd

She is not a chatting girl to talk you into a date

She is not a innocent flower
Welcoming with open arms

She is not a genius to create the next invention

She is not a musician, an author, a designer, a star, a doctor, or a hero

She is not a loving companion for you to hold, and remember your every need

She is not a great friend, always there in a flash.

She is not a friendly person, starting up the conversation

She is not a good cook, making meals that are edible

She is not an unscarred girl, unscathed by the past

She is not a beautiful figure
That draws your eyes

She is not hilariously funny
Ready for stand up comedy

She is not someone to remember though she will remember you

However she is not fazed by judges
Changing ways to suit them

She is not perfect

She is not stopped by her imperfections, only pressed farther to become something more.

And though I can not say who she is or what she will be. Here's what I can say

To me she will always be the girl staring back in the mirror.

I know I'm six foot,
Have fiery red hair,
And less common sense than a goldfish...
But is it too much to ask you to stay?

I know I've got baggage,
More than I should,
And yes that's not your problem,
But I only want you to stay...

I know I'm not perfect,
Far from it,
And if that's what you're looking for then I'm not for you..
But all I want is for someone to stay...