i’m afraid i am nothing,
without literature, and art.
without words and ink.
without flowers and music.
and most importantly, without you.

more? there’s nothing to give.
not with my sore pale hands
clutching every last fiber that stands
between our two shapes.
not with my bloodshot eyes
pleading for responses that eat at every surface.
not with my black dying heart
wincing at the sight of every disaster that, in vain, keeps me alive.
not with my hollow brain
the fight or flight tendencies defining the reactions i give.

you want more?
there’s nothing to give.
there never was anything
to give.

I walk under fluffy white clouds,
and I tread through glowing green grass,
I can feel the breeze on my skin,

for a second I'm still in first grade,
for a second nothing bad has happened,
for a second I can feel my surroundings,
for a second its comforting,

glowing evergreen and warm,
the sun soothes my skin,
bathing me in honey like gold,

it's a feeling I will cherish,
the warm embrace of a mother I never got to have,
the confident reassurance that I am worthy of good things

I am worthy of feeling warm sun,
of glowing green grass,
and seeing bright fluffy white clouds in the sky,

for a second my mind clears,
the birds sing and the crickets chirp,
I hear the soft crunch of leaves under my shoes and I smile

for just a moment I'm in first grade,
for just a second,

nothing bad has happened

Nothing can mean anything
Anything at all
Everything or nothing
Can end in nothing at all

Everything can be lost
But what’s lost can’t be found
When you have nothing
You don’t have anything
And silence won’t make a sound

Nothing can be emptiness
Where everything falls apart
Everything is lost
And you want to find the start

Nothing is forgiven
So forgive
And forget
Take everything you can
And leave
Nothing
To
Regret

People. Feel. Life. Time. Love. Hate. Day. Cold. Find. Lost. Good. Bad. Wrong. Write. Light. Dark. Heart. Mind. Eyes. Hear. Pain. Hope. Sun. Stars. Better. Afraid. Real. Thought. Help. Cry. Happy. Sad. Fire. Grow.

Perfect.

𝑯𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏.

The light
And the dark
Right next to each other.

Human
and God
Right next to each other.

These are my words:
Contradiction after contradiction.

This is who I am:
Everything, nothing, everywhere, nowhere
All.
At.
Once.