the sky flings rain on grass and window screens
flowers grow
but glass just blurs like tears

its 7:47
and all I can think about
are my biggest fears

not the silly ones
like spiders or breaking a bone

(but the big ones)

like what accelerates my heartbeat
and makes time stand still when
I think about it
the ones that leave me
panicked and overwhelmed

but instead of letting the fear control me
I am trying to teach myself to let it
push me to somehow influence my
every move for the better

if I don’t want these fears to be
a reality, then I need to choose
which path to take
(which way to let my mind wander)
to influence my life in a positive way

there are only so many things in my life
that I can control
my thoughts being one of them

fear is in my mind
that’s where all the biggest fears
come from and I’m learning to
fight those one moment
at a time

Everytime I meet someone new
Who is cute, with interesting attitude
I get to choose -
If to save the contact or to lose...
I am starting to imagine me
Being in love desperately
Having settled a romance suddenly
Being able to become a couple

I don't know if I am starting too early
But I know for sure, he does too
Because I don't think I ever have to worry
About me having this attitude
My friend once said:
It's good to keep the naivety
Instead of learning from failures negativity.
I guess I'm gonna follow the advice
And I'm not gonna rethink it twice
Sometimes
You gotta live and let it happen
Sometimes
This is the way it should be done
It is so often here and now or never
So take this moment, do what feels right
And what makes fun.
This way you're gonna gain experiences
All of a sudden you become enriched
I am not trying to teach you a lesson
Your life is the one who is gonna teach :)

If there is to be an end,
Let there be a rose in my hand,
A kiss upon my lips,
And silent moment before I break,

If there is to be an end,
Let it be quick,
No words to be said,
So I'd have the best memory of you for me,

If there is to be an end,
I want it to be like this,
A day, out in the world,
The wind upon my face,
Tell me all I need to know,
And leave me to my peace,

One muggy late September afternoon, a heavy grey cloud blanketing the sky, smothering the sunlight, I was not really heading anywhere with purpose; just walking along the paths amongst the high grass and trees that border the land between the houses and the valley fields.

It started to rain.  Thick, heavy drops of rain, that fell directly down as if they’d been dropped through a giant metal sieve in the sky. I felt each rain drop hit me with determined force, dark spots appearing across my faded green t-shirt. I took shelter beneath an oak tree at the side of the path and listened to the sound of the rain as it pattered off the leafy canopy above and around me.  Everything was otherwise still and silent.  

The air was warm and filled with the sweet earthy scent of the dampening ground.  The grass was bright lime green in the sun where shafts of sunlight speared the clouds. The leaves that sheltered me shone in low diffused light that filtered through the clouds and I admired the bounty of acorns that beaded the branches of the tree around me.  I imagined busy grey squirrels scampering along the boughs, harvesting the bounty in their tiny claws, gathering their store for the long cold winter to come.

Unexpectedly, I felt secure; comforted that I was still able to harvest simple pleasures and peace, just by sheltering from rain beneath a tree. Nature sometimes has a certainty that is re-assuring to a troubled mind.  

My thoughts turned to the coming autumn, with its landscape richly painted in burnished copper and bronze; the hedgerows burdened with the many wild fruits and berries that would nourish the wildlife through the harsh winter months to come.