Patter down to the creek

Hold the stare of the deer pausing

Waiting… Waiting

I spoke the blues
and you sang soul
caring me farther away
with every note
A song so sweet
for a moment
I cannot bear
the overwhelming love
and longing
to leave the blues
and live
lost in soul

Have you felt the caress of rain
like a cautious, caring lover soothing pain away.
Touched the night sky with your gaze
felt it reciprocate with no haste.
Have you ever loved what no other had dared
adored?
Out of fear of the beauty of the unknown.
Sighed along with the thunder of a storm,
being captured in the flash of lightening strike.
Have you felt and failed,
despaired and wailed,
thought and smiled;
Let the clamour of the rain wash away the fears,
the tears?
Take a moment, breathe, remember your sanity
is far more important.
Have you had a moment for yourself today?

I stood there.
Staring.
A snow-capped peak stared back.
I became exceedingly captivated.
Captivated by the thought that he and I existed;
Existed now.
Existed here.
Existed together.

I became a shell.
A shell filled with explosive joy.
And I could no longer become underwhelmed.
Nor could I become whelmed.

I lived.


I will never believe in myself more,
Never trust in Creation more,
Never be enveloped in the stillness more
Than I did in that moment.

Glimpsing that skyline.
Staring down a mountain.

I want to throw a tantrum.
Scream and shout
And kick things that don't need to be kicked.
The bones of my knuckles and hips poke out
A little     m  o  r  e
Than they did before.
My finger rings and hip-hugging jeans slip,
Not quite fitting the same way they had.
My skeleton creeping its way ever so slightly
Closer to the surface
Like it wants to get out
And   r u n    to    h e r.

Self-diagnosis: Lovesick.
Before, we were a storybook fairytale
But now our make-believe has something to latch onto.
Like a parasite.
More real
And more torturous
Than the existence of my past self.
I can't crave food the same way I can crave her touch.
My stomach shipwreck still feels the memories
Like they were yesterday's meal.
Has it really been a month?
My emotions ebb and flow
Along the shoreline of my consciousness.
Lovesickness courses through my veins
And through the vessel in my chest
Until I fall into a slumber
And in my dreams I have her once again
*If only for a moment.