When I finally meet you someday
I would certainly burst a loud cry
I’ll cuddle you so tight that
Pushes out all the sorrows of the days
That I lived without your presence in them.
That’s how much I’m missing you now!

If I see you
what I want to know is
where you are at.
I want to gauge you
by more than words -
by actions.

I want to tell you about me too
I now see, I've spent this life
denying my internal voice.
Doing what my head told me
over what my heart intuited.

I want to be listened to
in my small words and actions
in the small treasures of every day.

You brought alive in me
This feeling that my inner thoughts and musings
are worthy.
Not silly, inferior, or lesser.
I have been living and sharing them
(with my new poet friends) -
it is a great gift.

I didn't know that someone else
would find them interesting
and find them beautiful,
and be able to say:
me too.

You were the first for that.

I love you
Even though
My dear,
My dear
I know
It's wrong for both of us
And I'd rather hurt you
Now
Instead of doing
What we
Both of us
Want to
Only to destroy
Destroy
Each other
Down the road
Even so
I can't get you out of my head
I wish
I wish
Things
Were
Different
Different
And that we were different
People
And sometimes
I wish
All we were
Was
Passing
Strangers
On a busy street
Instead of a
Desperate
Almost
And
A hopeful
Maybe

What are you wanting?
I’d like to move on
Why are you wanting
Another one.
My heart does miss you
There’s a hole where you were
You awakened my spirit
And now you’re not there.
You’ll answer a call
And tell me you miss me
You’re still in your home
But dreaming of life with me
What am I wanting?
I need this resolved
I can’t do it illicitly  
That bothers my soul.
Almost a year on
And I still feel you with me
I want you to stand up
Take on responsibility.
Make your decisions
Make them out loud
Love me or leave me
Please decide now.
And if you decide,
That you will try loving me
Please know I’m a prize
I wont be so easy
I’d be willing to try
But not throw it in for you
You’d need to earn trust
And that may be tough to do.

your love is both
the shining altar
and the smoldering
gates of hell,
i dance between
like a woman possessed
unsure if you will save me
or devour me whole.

I can no longer hide
this feeling or silence.
With your touch and love,
affections seize warmth.
My soul ignited.

Once disparaged
estranged to another.
But with these distances,
coupling unparalleled angst.
I long to share it,
I want to hear you,
pull me closer now.

The chills in my spine
put into these words.
Lips on your skin.
Eyes brimmed with sin
Fingers slide over,
Lights fade out,
Loved you forever
say it out loud.

What is this sensation?
You drip colors I cannot perceive.
Heightening my passion,
enhancing my believes.
Dew drops vaporise
unhinged fly two beings,
Blending in this night sky.  

My tomorrow's mistakes,
will they break this cage.
Expressions of lust,
Consumed this way.
Hollow mortals,
Filled with divine flames.

Too consumed
In the colour of flesh
You do not fear it
I can hear the rush.
Mesmerizing aesthesia ,
now i hear them often.
Our souls combust
to this timeless dust.

©__payn