I don't regret a lot of things in my life
I don't spend hours thinking about what could have been
I don't think about how we were rasied together
I don't imagine what our kids would look like
I don't dream about how much I love you
I don't cry seeing you with her
I don't curse the day I said yes and then got scared
I don't wish we were together
I don't say your last name after mine
I don't act like if I had just waited you would be mine
And
I don't always tell the truth

Guilt, Passion, and Greed.
The feelings I feel right now are throwing my stomach in a whirl.
A light to guide me out of this fog of confusion is what I need.
But I’m stuck inside thinking of this beautiful dark-skinned girl.

I mustn’t let my emotions show through.
But it’s hard to break the chains of these torturous feelings.
These feeling and perfect moments that show up out of the blue.
Halted by the parental ceilings.

I keep replaying the moments no one knew I captured.
The beauties she doesn’t even realize she held.
She doesn’t even know she is a heart snatcher.
With her love I’d surely be compelled.

I only wish that I could say.
How amazing she is from day to day.

Where are you?
I miss you

Where are you?
I need to hear your breath
I need to see your eyes
I need to feel your warmth
I need to meet you

I need you...

I am many things
Tired
Numb
Sad
Lonely
But most importantly
I am me
And that's all I ever have to be

God I missed you,
I missed you and I don’t know why,
But don’t you worry my love,
Just let me reload,
And this time you’ll die.

My first kiss wasn’t with a boy I loved.
It wasn’t even with a boy I liked.
It wasn’t a dare.
It wasn’t a mistake.
My first kiss was a moment, two people in the same place at exactly the right time it made all the sense in the world but I am like swift winds. I move to fast and spread my self too thin and I let moments pass.
Because that is what happens with moments they only last a moment.
And the moment ended and time pasted and he had other moments and lived in them and I was still playing that moment in my head because it felt like I wasn’t really there.
When I asked what the moment meant to him he said, I don’t know.
Sometime I wish he said nothing or every everything, just anything more then I don’t know.
I didn’t kiss a boy I loved.
I didn’t kiss a boy I liked.
Instead I kissed a moment.
And I think I missed the moment.

Curiosity let me down
Why do I hate what I have found
Why do the walls look awful thin
How long before the sky caves in

But I got hooked on these blue and purple lights
And i found myself in the streetlamps in the dead of night
Crystallizing, like the frost around my rib cage
A palette colder than the snow falling from outer space

Freeing myself From the hands
Finding my life is to my own detriment
Finite, caustic in the games we play
Dissolving underscores the price you paid

Rain drops
Bluer than the sky
Tears of someone high above
Felled in spirit
Will defenseless
Recognizing they were selfish
Despite all my endless walls
Broke the sky down to a fault

And the shards now fall all around
My outstretched arms
And broken heart

Saving grace is in my lungs
Biding up the time here spending
All of it pretend inventing
Ideas for the passing eye
Finding out why days go by

A wooden kid with a furrowed brow
Carved this way and made to wonder how
How long might we survive
Strung up, dancing on this twine
Woven out of atmospheric bitter sweet goodbyes

And the notes that I hum
To pass the time
-------------------
I'll still see you around, right?

Yeah, keep an eye out, I'm sure you'll see me