If you listen closely
You can hear
The strands of my heart tear
Not only because you're not here
But because I do not know where

How long am i gonna play hide and seek with my own feelings towards what she says?
How long am i gonna be a slave to love when nothing comes to me for real?
How long am i supposed to pretend its nothing to be thought off when clearly theres a lot of things are not meant to be and not on its track?

Gates of hopes are closing, gates of memories are opening as things are just going to be another piles of false hopes.
The fact that im still the old me, im the old scarred me, the old scratched me, the old torn down me is still there.
Even if theres an exit, its just a refraction of another pain behind the mirrors of life.

I'm not tired of feeling, and living up to these false, fake, temporary type of love.
I'm getting used to it, until the point i am legitimately numb thats where i become the walking dead.

When worries surround
me like a pack of wolves,
O Poetry!
I turn to you like
a smoker turns to a cigar,
Like a drunkard sips
the last bottle savoring slowly
escaping the misery of day-to-day life,
I come to you dressed like a
passenger
to travel far away evading
my present life.

She is doing kind of **** I would never do
It genuinely hurts to see the way she's treating you
Back when mine I treated you as if you were my king
Looks as if in her mind you are nothing more than a fling
I try to hide disapproval because I don't have the right
To tell who is and who isn't worthy of holding you so tight
But is hard to witness you take any amount of abuse
Emotional and physical
You refuse to cut her loose
Does it seem I am simply sipping on some haterade?
Opinion formed without even giving you a chance to persuade
In gut instinct churns that she will run once more
What is stopping her now that wasn't in the way before?
Despite previous cold shoulder you dove right back into her (eye-see)icy sea
You really believe she changed overnight into the woman you need her to be
Suspicions
Concerns
Questions swarm my confused mind
You chase what does not care and leave who loves you behind
Rushing to her side again the moment you get the chance
When she pushes away I'm sure you'll repeat the dance
At worst I threw some punches when I lost control of my fist
Appears violent tendencies are something she doesn't bother to resist
I hope under covers she at least warms your body at night when it's late
Waking up by you privilege missed most so I pray that one blessing she appreciates
I wish her to hold you down whether doing good or bad
Because I supported through struggles no matter how little you had
She better carry more weight than I could to help relieve your heavy load
Demonstrating far greater strength then the pathetic bit I showed
Inevitably she will grow tired of the endless games and lies
Wonder how much manipulation she'll endure before she will finally cave and realize
I had given up on promised transformation and pushed for solely honesty
Something tells me she is not capable of accepting that this is all you'll ever be
She does a more adequate job than me at being everything you desire
Does a word exist describing the qualities I lack which you require?
Inside is excruciating knowing you have discovered happiness with someone new
In presence underneath maintained composure visciously longing to fall for anyone other than you
Unsure how much misery must drown in before loneliness finally sets me free
Maybe it is time to admit that this cage my heart is locked within was created with no key