tears, flowing again
fueled by almost
almost everything again
i try to see further, but
the only thing i gain
is pain again.

20 won't be hard, they said
shouldn't have believed them
when they
got everything ruined and bad

same things were said again and again
when i was way younger and naive
younger, i mean
when the world was young like me

not the current sink that we're both in
my generation takes all the pain
thinking about how we've almost seen everything
saying this, and at the same time can already feel
the taste of my words in my brain.

What do you do when walking through
the think and blinding mist?
And what if the last missing piece of the puzzle
doesn't even exist?
Say, how will you then escape the ever-spiralling maze?
And how will you rise above the darkness
hidden in all the days?
Where will you be when demons come and rip you off to shreds?
And what will then your mother say, who
Fed you from her breast?
A million words will take your place, out
of the mouths of friends
And you will not be there, my friend
When all your misery ends

I love pretty little things.

And she was a beauty.

Her smile could light my darkness and  Her love drove my demons away.

I promised her the world even though I had none of it to give.

I took and took from her and in return I gave her all the love I had which wasn’t enough.

Her love was devoured by my appetite and my demons began to returned. Eventually her smile grew dim.

In time the darkness returned and she no longer had the strength to stay. I had no strength to keep her.

Now I am haunted by her memory and alone. My demons keep me company as they gleefully dance with my misery.  

I keep watch of her from afar. She has met another and began to blossom as her beauty and smile has returned. She is happy now.

As I watch her it torments me now as she is a beautiful star dazzling in the sky so close yet so far from my reach.

I love pretty little things……

Decades of lifeless cold
follow a brief summer
The stage at the end,
practically a walk of shame
Many eyes turn away,
a few painfully blank
A mere shell of a former person,
Deformed by sins and their blame

It's such a miserable thing,
he can't be saved anymore.
He's been swallowed heart and mind
Into the valley of hurt and despair
Alas, just numbing the pain
doesn't make a person whole
He might as well be a sinner now
How do you even wash away stains from a soul?

The boy I loved before you was so beautiful- but only on the outside,

A handsome face that hid a wicked grin,
He was a master of disguise,

The boy I loved before you swept me off my feet- but only for a little while,

He built me up and then he knocked me down,
And he did it with a smile,

The boy I loved before you destroyed me- but only for a little while,

He left my pieces broken, scattered,

But you fixed them,
And you did it with a smile.

I will begin at my life's end,
Since, I would like to arrive faster.
Correction universe! Depart sooner.
You heard me now, at the times end,
I feel, I have experienced everything,
From then, now and after.
For a decade or more, I felt like going,
Away from life's simplicity ,
Till I got on the fast lane,
Drove myself to madness,
To the worlds end, much sooner.
Complicated and confused,
Disillusioned and petrified,
I have managed to complicate ,
The movement of time to faster.
My cosmic reality from freedom,
Got switched on to *******,
At lightspeed, in a place much darker!
Freedom from this physical self,
An escape from life is what I seek.
I know this is not the right way ,
But to end this pain, it's faster !

~blissfulnobody
(not so blissed out:)

We, birds in pain,
Put our trust in branches
Too weak to hold the weight of these dreams
This saffron grief is too fragrant
For our evergreen pine noses.
The everyday calamity
The everyman dream
Burns through the soil in our lungs,  
Memories of summer are now lost in September rain.
I am here dreaming of mending hearts
That have braved more than they can bear
But these drooping eyelids
Are stuck in endless night cycles
Of listening to the sounds of misery

i no longer wish to be exceptional. be boring. be ordinary. do not stand out. be real. be authentic. cleanse your mind and body and start over. it’s never too late to start over.

i only wish to exist, that’s all. it takes a lot of strength to exist when sorrow, disruption, and misery follow you around, swirling like a black fog that constantly engulfs you. it takes so much willpower to see through the fog that when i stumble out or gasp for breath, i realize that ordinary IS exceptional. to survive the absolute hatred of being forced to live, i only wish to exist, that’s all.