It still haunts and keeps me anxious when silence comes in the form of uninvited guests at night, invoking the sense of melancholy deeply; like a salt rubbed on a fresh wound.
Part of me still wishes to turn back the time and rewrite the story, part of me aches for TABULA RASA~ a state of blank mind.
And part of me is still reeling on the nightmares which was my reality; while I was still trying to hold a grip over my sanity.
Monster exist in humans and sometime they're insidious like cancer. They eat you slowly while you're still unaware of the symptoms that you had to compromise with. The more you compromised and adjusted, the more it gave them the chance to deteriorate your worth.
I wore a smile and wore my mask of resilience so well that silently I bore the pain, while I was dying inside, yet nobody could see it with naked eyes.
And yet, I was blamed for all the repercussions I had to deal with.
And while the monster lurks around freely, I still walk on the path courageously, with fear but I'll keep walking on, even if it means to be alone.
Freedom is a lonely road.
👣

She says she is lesbian . . .
I fix a cup of Oolong tea . . .
I just needed someone to talk to . . .
She is looking straight through me .

She says her heart is broken . . . I see the pieces all around

I just can't be alone now
Your the only one I've found

So the night made up a midnight
And the music made up songs
And she built up her castles
before they all came tumbling down
And she looked just like an angel
One without her feathered wings
And I wanted to kiss her
But she collected only Queens

The night turned into daylight
She said she had to go
But she wanted to thank me
Most people would've said no

And then she hugged me
like a big brother to me you are

Then in another second
she was driving off in her car

And she looked just like an angel
One without her feathered wings
Still she flew on without me
An angel without any rings

And my heart was breaking
Fool you can't be this way I say

Still she was an angel
Without a halo to display

a pulse of kalopsia, tears out existence.
the light is off, the night is silent.
the ravens don't sing,
because the moon is on her period.
strings and strings of night,
are angles across the starry sky,
i haven't found oxygen in me,
but i have found life in my soul.
the noise is silence, and it wakes up the mountains,
the stream is flowing through corners,
the crickets have been silent, because the night is draped in colours that they couldn't see.
maybe they realize that time is galloping across the beards of silence set on the horizon.
the heart has become a fugitive,
running away in endless arrays of despair,
when all it can do is hide on barren fields.
there is no beauty to dismantled feelings,
not in a million years of wind's change.
but there is a strange isotonic throbbing,
to the chest, past the bones.
everytime the night sheds her tears, and the moon watches closely.
facile in face of words that do not exist.
scarce in face of pages that'll never be written.

i'd rather get drunk
to the sound of your voice
but here i am
listening to music
on the midnight train home
all the good nights
and sleep tights
can't mask the ending
that began when we met

Under the night, I now hold you deeply, for
the sun of you heals hearts through
only your peace alone, your
the light in the touch of lips
on my skin is light as the
petals of the sky around
us, in our float, I ask
for the subtle beauty in the
midnight hours,
where dark is light
and sings, “love is
in the unseen”, for we
see each other as we are,
In all of atoms, love,
space, and time in
the touch of our
hands, you are I,
from the deep
blue rush in skin,
to the sacred,
we return.