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Riley Renee Dec 2014
Mixing your whisky breath,
              your unshaven cheeks,
              your liquored-down smile
                                                                               in an orange bottle labeled B.

WITHDRAWAL withdrawal withdrawal
Advice from a man with unshaven cheeks, a ring around his eye, and a cross near his breast.
Withdrawal from him, be careful, withdrawal from him you’ll see.
Clenched fists and a bouncing ball of hair, tied, atop my head

Sundays are slow, a holy ****** awaits.
                                                      They teach we aren’t supposed to be here.
                                                                               They teach this is not home.
Everyone is temporary, and
the concept of forever: my methadone.

But he’s only a pain reliever, you see.
This isn't finished at all. I wish I had the energy to revise and edit. Or even write, but I don't anymore.
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Twisted morbid thoughts
Venomous dreams
Poisonous looks
Life ******* streams
Love dies
Memories fade
Hearts grow cold
Feelings go numb
Lonely empty open space
All the time in the world to waste
Alone in life is alone in death
Never alone when on crystal ****.

© 1997 Crystal Erickson
PEARL SMOKE Dec 2014
Gotta Love This ****
Changes You Up Quick.
Take A Little Hit, Take A Pop, A Taste, A Bite A Syringe  .
Chemical Effects Seeing Life Unrealistic Getting Super ****** Twisted <3
Loving Life Feeling 20x Better Than Mighty Fine, iTs Fantastic Can Be Long Lasting.
You'll Truly See How Wonderful iT iS, Like Real Magic.
Body Sensation, Mind Blasting,  Euphoria Rising, Smiles, Hugs, Many Laughing.
One Simple Dose Can Make You Feel important, Wanted, Loved,  Above, Amazing, Powerful, Special, invincible.
Your Kept Focused On Yourself And Dreamy Like Flow That You'll Soon Fall inlove With
iTs A Feel indescribable & Just Everything You Can Ask For.
Blocks And Keeps You Away From Your Surroundings, its Unique, intense, Has Suspense , Gives You Affection & So Much Satisfaction Plus Attention Keeps You  Distracted By These Temporary Actions.
You Like What iT Brings You
How Happy & Better Of A Life You Seem To Be Living iN Your Eyes,
it Lies
It'l Keep You Wanting So You Begin And Keep On Finding .
You Used, Now You Abuse
Fell For iTs Tricks,Now You Say
I Can't Live Without This.
Your Life's On Pause Took This Dangerous Vacation Which No One Has A Clue Whether You'll Come Back The Same Or Alive Cause
Your Brains So
Damaged & Fried
You Keep On Consuming Assuming Everything's All Right,
Your Hooked On This Potion Poison That Hypnotized You
Took Ahold Of You
Your Becoming Unknown
Lost Control , Life Spans On A Thin Line, Fast Mode, Became So Distant , isolated
Your Un-Existent To The World Now. But You Yourself Dont Even Give A **** About Anyone But Your Drugs . Went So Low Sold Your Soul To A Heavy Substance Which You Consider Your Only And Lord.
Minds Erased,
Future Hope And Dreams Went All To Waste
Reality Seems Fake
So Used To Being High
You Feel its Your Normal Estate. Have No Faith Became So Negative , And Careless & Use Your Heart less Went Against Your Morals & Values Not Minding The Monster You Have Turned into.
Self  Image Beginning To Lose iTs Color iTs Details
Thinning , All Numbed Out,
Having No Type Of Emotions , Cant Laugh, No Smiles, Your Charm Fades,  Life Became A Daze Long Maze You Then Begin To Feel Hopeless, Worthless Thinking And Believing You Can Only Move On By Continuing Smoking
This Dope ****
Your Body Begins This Tolerance, leading & Waiting To Introduce You To What You'll Consider Hell Worser Than Comedowns
Withdrawls.
Body's All Messed Up Tricking You Into Thinking That A Nice Hit Will Fix You Up.
So Much More To This Bad Habit Of A Drug.
Havnt Mentioned
Money, Risks, And Lost's.
Drugs End Up ******* You Up Sadly Madly Disappointed At The Fact You Threw Away Your Life Without Even Noticing .
Or Wanting.
Your Addicted And Sickened
Strung Out But Still Looking Towards How Your Getting Your Next Fix? You Still Go Down The Lane Passing The Stop Sign
In Another Dimension  Nobody But You Only Mention
Going Krazie, Buried Yourself,
Your A New Person.
Paranoia, Voices, Shadows, Whispers Your Becoming insane Looking So Drained.
On A No Sleep Mode,
But You Don't Care So You Still Go Down The Same Lane
Cause iTs Really Hard To Change From What You Have Been Around And Same Routines For A While And So Used To Doing And Living With These New Drugged
Thoughts, Mind, New State Mentality Full Of Loving Drugs And Living With Day And Day On And On.
You Messed With Your Head
Even Though You End Up Making iT To Sobriety Days
Most Likely You'll Relapse And Fall Again.
Because Drugs Had Made A Huge Impact In Your Life For A Long Period Of Time
iTs A Strong Attachment That Can And Will Heal By Time iF You
Try
Have Hope in Your Eyes Ears Heart &
Mind.
kaylene- mary Dec 2014
~
I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to feel the impact of your absence
To see that you were taken by a substance
I'm sorry I was never there
Not once to wash away your fears
Nor tuck you in at night
Take away the fright
But the death I found lying sweetly in your eyes
Dug craters in my skin cells
Soft and precious little dents

I had to clean the blood away
Couldn't stand to see you there
So I scrapped and scrubbed
Until the thought of you had passed
But in this role, I was sickeningly miscast
And nothing could have stopped you
Not a single plead nor shriek
You left as fast as you had come
Without a cry nor squeak
And I could swear I saw you in the mirror
Walking hand in hand with death
But you did not look behind you
Not even at your ****

I'm sorry I didn't make it to the funeral
And I'm sorry I barely cried
I'm sorry that I let your sister see you while you died
I'm sorry that I blame you for my suffering
And that I'm still recovering

But most importantly
I'm sorry that I didn't save you
I'm sorry that it was too late
And I'm sorry I couldn't save you from the pain that drove you to your fate
That I couldn't take away your misery
Couldn't take away the evil
That you had to look for happiness inside a little needle
rare-and-rad Oct 2014
"Hey! I miss you like crazy! On that night you left I ****** cried myself to sleep and it continued for a couple days. Everyday I wonder... how is he doing and I had a dream about you the other night and you had your afro.. ha! And I asked you "hey how you been?" And you said "I'm doing good I even have a job now." And when a certain someone heard my dream, they told me "yeah I don't know if he's exactly doing that he's using". When I heard that, my heart stopped.. it was unbelievable. I started crying. And I hardly ate breakfast. Diego, I know you probably aren't going to listen to me but you don't have to do that. Like you said "I have many skills and talents". Well use those! Not ****. You can actually do something. You're 18. There's many things out there for you to do. If there's nobody there to talk to you .. call the Phoenix house and ask for me. No matter how far apart we are, I will still be there for you. To be honest I got a bit disappointed when I heard but just remember what you learned here. Who worry and care about you! Use your artistic skills! Don't let no drug take you away from that. Hopefully you call soon... I miss you I love you. And I will always be your sister... don't forget  - laura "
I'm sorry Diego. I had to tell her. She was very concerned and since I knew.. I just had too, it was eating me up. But I miss you. Its okay , you can always find that start again. I believe in you. - ash
i got this message the moment when i was about to slam for the first time, and its like some aort of sign tgat i need help, struggling with addition and with life
Silence Screamz Oct 2014
My knife cuts me.
I am scarred.
Drip crimson red,
my life is marred.

I was living in color.
Now black and gray.
Fading in violence.
What can I say?

Infected by silence,
deafening pain.
Injecting the needle,
deep in the vein.

Feeling the flow
and gripping the ****
Toes over the corner,
fall to my death.
Had to rewrite.. was half awake ..much better :)
rare-and-rad Sep 2014
wake up
throw myself on the floor
i'm shaking
as my life goes out the door
thinking of my fate
its all a disaster
looking for a god
for another life after
life isn't gold
life isn't fun
it doesn't go slow
if you know how to run
temper is explosive
a boiling *** of anger
this **** is persuasive
is my life in danger?
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