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Jane Smith Apr 2021
I am perched atop a golden hill,
With grey birds lighting the sky.
Alone, I’m thought of as ill,
But this illness I possess is mine.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
Akin to good and evil.
Who am I to refuse to shoulder,
The sins of man, primeval?
Disown the fear of love,
Life has never been in vain.
The sky looks down from above,
It commands that no soul is insane.
And nature’s children all gather,
Above the glinting sea,
And of my life I am the master,
As human as I can be.
Raul M Murray Apr 2021
Government regulators attempted to **** me
God's angels are the people that saved me
They created the problem buy giving the Dr the key
Escapades that spiralled like a birch tree
To suppress confessions and evidence
People were given unwanted medicine
Some ran but caught by the magnet resonance
Others 6 feet under, blessed by a church eminence
God help! Sadists and cannibals eat patients
Colluding in auditory nerves in acoustic vibrations
They are the nations NHS saviours
When people suffer they have secret celebrations
Looking for the innocent soul
Destroying with false reports and a troll
Exploiting every loophole
Services and public on a sly payroll
Pseudo science disease is a abomination
That of mental illness to the nation
That has brain washed the population
Truth will singe psychiatry to decimation
Rinkitty Apr 2021
My chest hurts so much
All I want to do is scream and to bleed
How much longer do I have to feel like this?
Why do I have to suffer?
It suffocates me
It makes me think things I wish I didn't
It makes me feel things I can't physically and mentally handle
It hurts
Make it stop...
Please just make it stop.
Void Apr 2021
Debilitating
When the mind cripples the body
Infuriating
When your youth fades day by day
Hurting
When trust is broken because no one believes you
Yearning
To just get out of bed, while they think you're lazy
Praying
Your pain could go away
Begging
To live a normal life

Its very real
When the mind is so sick, it affects your physical being
Bre Jun 2019
Skin on fingers cut down to the quick
Calluses formed for so long that the
Nerve endings that were and should be there are long long long gone
The tear of the skin as the anxiety ebbs and flows and wanes and waxes in a never ending pulsating mess from my rib cage spiraling outward

I sometimes feel like a personal hurricane
And excuse my cliche
But the vortex of overwhelming paranoia and nausea and dread
Are the things most frequently busting out of my chest
From a heart long out of rhythm
From a heart longing to be dead

And yet I’ve gotten everything I worked towards for so long
Yet my life is a train wreck
I live like a squatter
I have three friends
And I am always
Alone.

And just like those fingers
The discoloration from stress and anxiety
The bags under my eyes lengthen and grow to match the shadows my mind is now full of and I don’t remember ever being this tired and I do remember being less happy but sometimes it’s hard to separate the two

Am I doing any good?
Is anything ever going my way?
Bre Apr 2021
Yesterday
Driving down
The road
Lizard brain said
Pull the steering wheel
Find the peace
You’re craving
Do it.

Yesterday
Monkey brain said
Climb under table
Table safe
No noise
Curl up
Safe

A week ago
Lizard brain said
Stab scissors
Into palm
Do it

A week ago
Monkey brain said
Blanket over head
Hides self
Safe

A month ago
Lizard brain said
Walk into traffic
Jump.
It’s time.

A month ago
Monkey brain said
Tell everybody
How you feel
They care
Safe

6 months ago
Lizard brain said
Those pills?
Take them all
No feelings.
Just bliss.

6 months ago
Monkey brain was quiet.

2 years ago
On the balcony
Five stories high
View of my whole world
Lizard brain said jump.
No one will miss you.
Do it.
Safe.

And the only thing
keeping me alive
Was the fact that
I didn’t want
To make
Anyone
Clean
It
Up.
It’s been a rough few years my guys
Cerasium Apr 2021
All I wanted was a chance
And you can’t give me that
So I’m taking back my love
I’m taking back my heart

It’s not for you anymore
It was meant for someone else
Someone who loves me back
Someone who actually cares

All you did was play with my heart
All you did was toy with my love
I never meant to hurt you
But all you did was use me

I’ll give it to someone special
Someone who sees my worth
Someone who loves me
Someone who won’t break my heart

I see now
That you used me
Beat me down
And abused me

Broke my heart
And toyed with me
Shut me down
And then trapped me

But no more
I’m taking back my love
I’m taking back my heart
I’m done with the abuse

The lying and the use
The toxic love abuse
I’m done with all the pain
I’m done with all the pain

I loved you unconditionally
You said you’d never leave me
Yet here I stand
Begging for you back

But no longer
I’m sick of the abuse
The lies
And all the use

You only cared about me
When I held your body
When I touched your
Ooooooooooooo

And yet you think you loved me
When you don’t even know
What love really is
Your toxic love abuse

Never will I go back
To the lying and the cold shoulder
I’m done with all the pain
I’m taking my love back

I see now
That you used me
Beat me down
And abused me

Broke my heart
And toyed with me
Shut me down
And then trapped me

But no more
I’m taking back my love
I’m taking back my heart
I’m done with the abuse

The lying and the use
The toxic love abuse
I’m done with all the pain
I’m done with all the pain

You left me down and broken
You tossed me aside
You saw the damage you did
And you didn’t even bat an eye

You twisted my love
Used me and abused me
Left me out to dry
But I’m done with all the pain

All your lies and empty promises
Like being forever there
You only went and lost me
This unconditional love
I was constantly lied to, emotionally and mentally abused, and I am now sick of it. I'm ending the relationship all together and I'm done. I loved this man unconditionally and he only used that love, giving me the cold shoulder and constantly belittling my efforts.
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