The advertisement remarked, "Fair and lovely skin."
"Why not my colored skin?"
wondered the 7-yr-old oblivious to the misogyny of dark shades in the society.

why do I lurk?
I am so dumb
I sit and scroll
with my right thumb
to see what you post
and what you may like

only to make myself sad

I sit on her couch
Sipping *****
from some mixed concoction
Scrolling through the social media experiences
meant to be a self reassurance
of how good we have it
when it’s just so
******* hard.

These little positives accumulated
to remind myself
that even in the midst of my hardest trials,
don't get caught in the failures
but relish in the triumphs.

I don’t even look at the other feeds
so self absorbed
at reminding myself
that each day my hustle
will be rewarded with the ultimate win: love.
But success isn’t love... or a like
and every minute I spend self absorbed on what I don’t have
I miss out
on the minute to minute love
I receive with each interaction
from people I share space with.
Life isn’t a feed.
Life isn’t happiness every day.
Life isn’t measured by the have or have nots.
Life is this moment.
Life is this experience
and the decisions we make in them.

So I closed the phone
and listened
to her
sing.

She wasn’t doing it for the hashtag
or the like
and I listened.

Sipping on my *****,
closing my eyes.
I didn’t care what was seen
as long as she kept sharing
this moment with me.

The feed.

Social Media chops like a cleaver.
A truth optional blade comes down
to deliver clean edge fodder
for others too pick and ****
like carrion gleaners.
A broadside to crush after
the initial hack.
Hold the handle with great care,
and far away from you.
Too heavy to wave about
like a fencer's foil.
Its damage is ugly and
spreads like the spurt
from a jugular.
Social media chops
like an unforgiving cleaver.

The                         failings
of


mainstream media

is a bless
                to the society.

I sit in front of the tv
Brainwashed into thinking
That this monotonous existence
Constitutes living
I feel my mind screaming
For something more engaging
Instead of the useless stuff
Seeping from my screen
Sometimes the only breaks I take
Are just me looking from that screen
To another smaller version in my hand
I feel exhausted emotionally
Unable to engage in many things
But I refuse to give these screens
This kind of power over me
I am a human being
Not a lifeless creature
I need to find something better
To break this habit that's killing my creativity
It's killing my energy
My motivation
My attention span
And I will not have it
Not anymore
I will find something more satisfying
More promising in engagement

And then I wonder
Is this what it was like
When books were first written?
Or is this unique to electronic media?