Take your own life
violently by the scruff,
and LIFT.
Once you have its undivided,
wholehearted attention,
stare it straight in the eyes,
and say 'Enough!'
'This is a self-interest intervention.
'Get over this,
shake yourself free
of this mid life need
for a preoccupation
by hostile thoughts
and self-absorbtion,
put to one side
self-indulgent fictions
and get real,
get serious
and get a life
that is true to the person
you now are.
And start by ending the comb-over.
It's a non-starter.'

The moon reminds me
of my dreams, the joy
of singing, the playing
that started everything

No burden on our shoulders
no mutual resentment
The sacred must
has flowed away from us

gone out into the world
compelling and excessive, childishly
demanding that it is time
to grow up

but I already am
and the burden of my life remains
mine, perhaps lighter
if we carry it together

He eschewed the Spotlight until he was 83,
Then, like a craven child, he leaps,
He totters into a cold cathode pool and is centre stage.

The fledgling son of and upended bride;
Stage fright perhaps,
Trapped in a freeze frame of fear,
Till now at 83,
Clear just to be.

Centre stage his rage is vaulted across an empty house,
The words of a tired and tested former son of a bishops daughter,
The lines of his life relished in anger and vile plots now twisted to ply his crowd with tales of blame.

Yet, he who was Puck is now a king. Weak no more, vaulting from some horse, lancing the beast that has held him down,
Standing for something more than his shabby past.

He was 83, when with glee, he became his own life paradoy,
The fool becomes a king.

It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
Let’s split this orange in two
Keep your half and don’t share it
Nothing left we want to mix together.
It has always been coming quietly
Probably from the moment we shook hands
The time has now arrived
Even as we try to elongate our texts
Force our voices with concern
Still waiting for the exit

We knew from the second
We walked different paths
That the ground would tremble,
And the cracks rise.
The gap has been widening
As the sun and moon switch places
Even if we ignore it and
Throw a smile across the divide.

The pretense now
Makes my skin crawl
Escape from this strange web
Coating around us is urgent
I know you have your stuff under hands
And want to keep them away from me
Here,
I’ll give it all to you on a gold platter.

But for some reason it won’t cross the table
It’s frozen to the touch,
I cannot get it over.
Unwilling to put down our dignity
Laid on the napkin exposed to the other
Making this process extend
Pulling out without an end

Continuously balancing
The thin string wobbling into the dark
Struggling as I carry memories on my back
Missing pieces increasing its weight
As it slips down I wonder who you are
Grudges I thought buried
Now splitting through the earth

It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
The air has grown too toxic to breathe
I can no longer see you through the divide
Let us not even try and leave it at that.
Who will be the one to say it first?
Just look around for an excuse
Drop a bubble of silence
Hoping to set off a bomb of meaning
Nobody has to take responsibility
Let us escape.

Laughs abounding while
We crossed the dark streets
Now mock me
Showing only unknowing youth
There to fill a space where
I now realize you were thin air.
As fleeting as a passing joke
An initiation for the future..
What I thought was so tight
Loosened itself at a touch
And left the past at the back
As we walk through the tunnel.

Time has passed by
And swallowed us whole
Still falling down its’ throat
Passing by brief glimpses of moonlight
It’s dark sides showing up at my face
Always changing paths
I won’t hand you the compass
As I land at on my feet,
I want to enjoy the walk without you
Dusk is setting down on the streets
I see we are on opposite sides
Of the sun glazed windows

No longer able to meet each other’s gaze
Through the bright shine
Shut mouths full of words
That weigh on our tongues
The coat now fits us well,
Straightened out on our shoulders
Should now be able to walk
Pass by each other with a nod

It seems our friendship ends here,
My friend
Let’s buy two different train tickets
We don’t want to join the other
The seat beside me will be reserved.
But nothing is going past my lips
Let’s hurry up, the bell is ringing
Exchange phrases of good wishes
Both curious of our destinations
We’re adults now
Let’s board and leave

Reputation - what they think they see
Character - what you prove to be

Image - what is seen from afar
Substance - what you truely are

The difference is what makes a man
a sure and steadfast gentleman

Lay beside me one last time,
Allow your tears to soak the sheets of our pretense,
Clutch my hand while your teeth pounce on your lips,
Always trying to hold back your gasping cries,
But your face still shrieks and deafens my ears.

Lay beside me one last time,
Staring at each other in devoted distaste,
My lips giving you a soft smile of a guilty goodbye,
Your eyes starting its spasm of unspoken begs,
Always flashing our buried memories in one last attempt.

Just lay beside me one last time,
Just one last time stare at me
So I can mouth the false words
'All will be fine'
Then your eyes will drift to sleep believing,
my one last lie.

Just wake alone one last time,
But for the first time with a full heart,
         And please believe... I'm begging believe...
                       I was just the most unpleasant dream.

5 years gone too fast
A memory, your scent, your voice
My love from the past
Your laughter plays in my head in white noise

The feelings are unknown
No way of identifying
From a teen I am now grown
Love is terrifying

They say time heals all wounds
But baby I’m barely breathing
Got me thinking from dusk till noon
I’m left without any reasoning.

I’ve changed a lot, I put up a fight
One thing kept me sane
Your love went out like a light
But mine remains the same.

Eloquent lair,
esteemed and influential.
Spreading disasters
that make me mental.

Not about this repetition.
Locking me in a finite position.

With a moderate delay,
reinforcements arrive.
Reminding me that it is alright to thrive.

Maturing at a healthly pace.
Hoping to survive it all with grace.