Quick to forgive,
Slow to heal,
All I wanted,
Was something real,
I give my all,
And ask for nothing in return,
Is it any wonder why,
I slowly smolder and burn?

I use this fancy colors on my lips
To cover all these cuts
Wishing that they will all vanish
As I carve a smile on my lips

I use different powders
To cover up my flaws
The acnes due to not sleeping
Considering that anxiety pays another visit

I use concealer to conceal the dark circles
The eyes which are hurt from crying
Everyday and everynight nonstop
Asking for sympathy

I use eyeshadows to add color into my life
Different colors as for I am a pretender
Glitters to show that I stand out
Trying to belong in a group

Trying to hide my real identity
But who am I fooling?
It's no other than myself
Someone who cannot accept her flaws

My fingerprints have gone missing.
I sit and there is no dent in the cushion.
I sleep and the duvet lays flat and smooth.
I’m afraid to walk in the wet sand
For fear no footprints will be following me.
I’ve covered every mirror in the house
I can’t bear to not see a reflection.
I whistle for the dog - she doesn’t come.
I make no shadow on the wall.
The scale says I weigh nothing.
I seem to have faded like poorly dyed fabric
Left out in the blazing sun.
Can it be possible I’ve become a wraith
Of someone I once was and am no more.
I didn’t feel the transformation -
I touch my cheek and it feels warm -
But I sneeze and no one says “God Bless You” -
So I guess I’m well and truly gone.
   ljm

Why do I reach out to comfort the whole rest of the world
And have no pity for the little girl that hides in my dark corners.
Why do I extend the hand of empathy to everyone but me.
Why is it I don't find me worthy of the love I give to others.

There is no answer to those painful questions.
No one to ask - no book to read.
I either find a pathway to the sunshine
Or content myself to live in shade.

Living in a city where the trees have names
And blank walls and bus stop benches
Have a language of their own,
I wonder who I am
And wonder who will read the lines I pen
And if I'm writing in an unknown tongue.

Wandering among the spray paint
                           proclamations
That declare existence
And 'my gang can beat up your gang'
I try to fathom the kind of emptiness
That only tagging can implete,
But I was never, at my worst, so hollow

Cataracts.
What blinds you?

What blinds me?
Society.

Chipped and chiseled
By judgement
By opinion
By jealousy
By hate

Who am I?
I am broken
I am lost
I was stolen
I am gone

What is left?
A shell
Empty and loud
Filled with confusion
depression now

Think positive
Don't listen
Ignore

No.

Become society
Change it
Stop it
Enough
Love

You feel like you would rather die than speak your mind
But you will die if you keep it all inside
The words are trying to claw their way out of your throat
But you won’t say them
You can’t ever say them
Not when you are down
Or in your last dying breaths
You can’t say them
And it kills the people around you
For them to see you silence yourself
They feel as though their voices muffle you
That their own voices will block out your whispers
Your silent cries for help
So they don’t talk
They silence themselves
They look for the words you refuse to say
Soon the whole world will be silent
A world of reluctant mutes
A loud vivid world made silent
Because no one would raise their voice
No one would speak up
Thus we enter a new silent world
A world ruled by fear and low self esteem.