we do not choose who we fall in love with,
and our perception of happiness is our own and
is determined by what we experience..

I don't even know how to start this letter. Something within me just had enough courage to.

2. I always imagined this would happen without warning.

3. I know how much you hate reading, but can you at least read this.

4. I wish I could have been more honest with you. I should have never bottled up my emotions; now look at me, I'm a mess.

5. Can you laugh at my joke one more time? I really like the way your cheeks puff up and blush pink.

6. Have I ever told you that you have a nice smile?

7. Let's go to the park, I want to see the sunset before I go.

8. Thank you so much for spamming me memes at 3am.

9. I've been saving money for a special event, I'm doubting you'll like it.

10. When I was 11, on Halloween I finally gathered everything I needed in order to be Batman. Rope, blades and boomerangs. I kept them in a box just in case if I needed to use them in the future.

11. I came home on Sunday and found your favorite black scarf. I wore it tightly around my neck; I can feel your warmth, it even smells like you.

12. How can something you love so mush just disappear right in front of your eyes.

13. I can show you how we can be together forever. But it'll take more time for you.

14. I bought you your favorite ice cream, cookies and cream. I left it in the freezer. But remember, when it melts, I won't be there to clean it up for you.

15. Don't worry, I'll try harder next time.

16. You don't need to make me your famous mashed potatoes and gravy. I'll be out of town. But oh man, I'll sure miss eating that.

17. I love you more than you'll ever know. But I'm not sorry.

18. You don't have to bring flowers, I don't want them to set off your allergies.

If I were to send you all the letters I wrote,

the ones where my heart bled out the words

and where my tears painted the borders.

—where I laid out all my pain to rest,

you would know the depths my heart has tunneled,

just so I could make more space for you.

you would know the dreams I tucked away

for the day we reached our promise of forever.

you will find, there, the thousand different ways

I wish I could have said I loved you.
and a thousand
 more ways I wished
I could have made you stay.

call them prayers, the way I begged the heavens

if there was a way to save a sinking ship.

or heal all the wounds yet to be inflicted;
or take away the memories yet to be made;


If I had sent them, would you have understood?

that there was no way for me to love you 

any less than I did. That is the way that I am.
And there was no way for me to love you

and not lose myself. I’d have given you my soul.

and your glass would never have been empty

because I would have given you my all.

Dear Lover:

I have longed for you, in many different ways. To hold you, to kiss you, to breathe your breath. All I’ve got are dreams of you,  when I want to dream with you.

I Desire your presence, your essence, your confidence, and hope you feel the same.

It’s been too long since ours lips last collapsed, and our hand entwined, but I still savor your lips on mine, and feel our hands becoming one.

Dear lover:

I never wished upon the stars for an everlasting story, but darling your smile was pure magic, it was freedom.
A connection so strong I could feel shivers through my spine.

My dear angel, I drifted onto you like a paper boat in stormy days.  
You made me burst in laughter, raging my emotions set ablaze.
Like a symphony,  your voice ecos in my head, and the embrace of our bodies the sweetest melody never heard.
How a blissful memoir have you come to be.
You will always be enough.  

Yours always ,