#loneliness poems on Hello Poetry

irinia Jan 2023

I left my cigarettes today
the same way you leave the departed
I put them in their tombs of desire
their pain had infected me enough
like an invisible netwok of mold
decomposing dreams
my own

my secret garden
already planted
my name chosen
my path clear
in their hidden mind
I had to love them all:
and I will, always
with quiet ardor,
adoration, gratitude

my secret garden a jungle
of emptiness
denied tenderness
never spoken words of love
terrors and longings,
unrequited pain

for so long I've been
my father's mother
in my hidden soul
what has survived
of me
was poetry

no language
complex
no methaphors
no more tears
for this raw truth
the only mother
for me
was poetry
when
there was beauty
in the sky
so crushing

#pain #loneliness #love #poetry #motherless

irinia Jan 2023

letter to my father (1)

“their mental state contains something lethal:
past, nothing but past” Nikolay Y Ossipov

you measured your height
with the mountains
your fists with the howl
of lonely wolves
to avoid helplessness stupidity confusion:
the all too encompassing human nature

I no longer want to keep you
in the alternative dimension
guarding your wholeness
I'll let you fall into pieces
I'll let you die the death destined
to you
instead of crushing him
or imploding myself
for him to rearrange his fragments
for me to hope for all the levels
of coherence
I/we are capable of

bodies afraid or in love are the most intense
I want my body back
from your battlefield of delusions
your pain is not my pain
your despair is not mine
your manic refusal of touch
is still my manic capacity
to love wounds tragedies
aborted laughter
some words are mirrors
I'll keep writing to you
till there is no escape
from the clarity
of dawn:
all my love is of
no real use
to you

writing can be therapy to decontaminate love

#father #loveless #imagination #loneliness #pain #love

irinia Dec 2022

words

awoken by words
so many words to write
shout, cry, turn into
something beautiful
the storehouse of whispers full
I lend my hands to the wind
I rehearse conversations that only
the moon can have
some words are wild
as the grass or
the horses that quietly
smell the traces of birds
through the air
other words weary
for the lament of time
there is no remedy

words,
crazy worlds
in which
we were

#poetry #time #loneliness

Esther Dec 2022

789 days

i don't know what's worse:
forcing myself to fall asleep without your touch
or waking up in an empty bed again

it's a whole new kind of loneliness
trying to get a hold of myself
after years of trying to hold you

seven hundred and eighty-nine days
falling and fighting over you
just ends with **** we're dividing up

i cannot remember what life was like
before my eyes met with yours
the deepest shade of blue

you will always linger
in new habits we've created together
in every hidden spot in the city that i've shown you

all my hopes, dreams, and fears
they now belong to you
for evermore

i woke up alone again today
perhaps you did, too
just two broken souls in lonely beds
we were never meant to be

i toss and turn
flipped the pillow where you used to lay your head
now soaked with my acid tears

i will curse you for the longest time
always pondering the 'what-ifs'

if one thing had been different
would everything be different today?
would you have never left?
would we have never ended so catastrophically
the most bittersweet tragedy?

i used to feel you, no matter how far you were
yet in the final days, you got me questioning
who was that stranger laying next to me?

we were fire on fire
now i'm ash and ember
so who am i offending now?

you were my most beautiful film
sadly, i couldn't change the ending

pacing back and forth
i find myself talking into the night
"this pain would be never more"

this is a poem for the same person i wrote my last one for. we lasted 789 days.

#ex #lover #breakup #loneliness #sad #heartbreak #grief #ending

Irem Dec 2022

won’t wipe my tears -this time-

tears keep flowing sometimes
and i wipe them all the time
but this time
won’t wipe my own tears this time
will let them flow in their own
flow, oh so slow sometimes
so low
won’t resist my own pain this time
cause my heart is tired of it all the time
how long can you resist to the flow
of a river of sadness, fueled by loneliness?

#tears #sad #sadness #loneliness

Kassiani Dec 2022

Scream, Darling

When the loneliness
Starts to suffocate you
Starts to squeeze your lungs
To claw your throat
To smother you with the weight
Of all the lives you're
Not living
Remember
Those could-have-beens are
Poison
You will never breathe again
Until you bleed them out
Cough them up
Shriek them into the abyss

Scream, darling
Scream for yourself
Howl until
Your sobs no longer feel like a
Feral creature
Tearing your limbs from a body
That has forgotten how to hold itself

Remember
You are choosing yourself
Even if you have to
Rebuild each of your bones
The growing pains won't last forever
The loneliness won't **** you
You are limping towards a life
That won't keep choking you
A life where you can finally
Fly
Throw your head back under the sun
And know what it is to be
Free

12/4/22

#loneliness #heartbreak #healing

irinia Dec 2022

he was a lonely boy

When I am with you
I wanna lose my center
he would say to you gently
without words

he would translate you into his own language
of groove, longing, shouting, fluid desires
for the sake of finding his own tracks
his eager mutable depths

he is looking for harbours
for his solitude turned into offerings
for devotion
for the secret wisdom that fills the cracks of night
he doesn't deny the intensity
of the sweet conversations between the hearing
and the touch
he hides his violence in sealed wells,
in clear visions, in the decimals of knowledge

he was a lonely boy
full of wonder

#loneliness #wonder #search #longing