baby doll
remember when we were glad participants in something that we knew would take us nowhere but to the closed closet door behind the stage?
remember when we couldn't get enough
of summer eyes and pretty days
i have seen too many of those
feed me something new
feed me spiraling star shine
feed me the blood of pretty girls
feed me something
*** i haven't touched food in a week

i broke my leg sneaking into homecoming
and danced on it for three weeks before they told me to stop
i ate too many pills at once because the doctors told me to
and was laid up in the hospital for a month
my muscles that once bunched tight under rippling scars
have been eaten by my bones

i kept the elevator key because i needed help up
now sitting in an empty college dorm
wondering if i love myself and
whether or not they really love me
drinking in their attention like wine
or at least like a slurry milkshake
but i can't tell if anything is getting down my throat
can't tell if my belly is ever gonna fill up
and most nights i think it won't
when i love i love so fully that i leave no room to be cherished
and when i wilt *** no one watered me
my roots leech bitter resentment
it is what i take in
my god
my god

If God was real
He'd let me die-
Too much suffering
In this tiresome life.
He'd know the thrill
Is not worth the strife,
And all the heavy
Outweighs the light.

If I could feel,
Then I could try.
All the emptiness and sorrow
Would simply all subside.
If I could crawl out from the darkness
And beg for acceptance in light-
Maybe if I weren't so numb I might.

Hollow is this whole wide world,
Filled with greed and hate-
Crumbling around me
And they blame it on the plates.
Power and destruction-
I can't come to appreciate
What we have done...
To this place.

I am born of burdens,
I was born too late.
Missed my chance
So the devil danced me
To my fallen fate.
Held captive to damnation,
I will waste my life away.
Wondering- is this a dream?
And when will I
When will I, when will I
Wake??

Hollow is this heavy heart
That beats for needless, just to bleed.
All this screaming on the inside
Raised the monster, raised the beast.
How can I strike it down without
Destroying me?
I was doomed to rule the darkness
Etched in stars- the destiny.
If there is a God out there, then tell me,
Where is his mercy?

So alone, and I'll die alone like this.
So alone, and I'll wear it on my wrists.
So alone, everyone leaves eventually.
All things must end, except the
Great infinity.
So numb! And I'll keep myself this way.
So numb! And I'll **** myself some day.
So numb! And I've nothin more to say.
Yes, this will end,
Make no mistake-
You too will ache.
Yes, it all ends,
Not hard to break-
You too will ache.

In school
Wanna go home
Can't stand this hell
Waiting for the fun to begin
Swimming with my friends
My sis and my buddy
A guy, a girl
What should I think.?
What should I do.?
Escape this hell
Just take me away.....

~Devil~