Believer or not, there's always someone or something that stops you.

Others pushing you so you almost push yourself off, but they have no clue.

And you know you can't go to heaven if you cause others grief.

And suicide is only seen as a way out for the weak.

I don't judge those who left this world, they took their fate into their hands.

There are other ways to do it though, they could have made future plans.

But those were determined last steps, hard choices to leave life behind.

Still, instead I hope people continue to express themselves with tears and rhymes.

Spoiled. Quite unlike your usual
Presence in a room, tonight you
Carry with you an immense weight.
Dragging along your creme draping,
You stroll up to the window and look
Out. God bless your beauty.
In divinity, it is thought that there will
Be a reckoning. I hope that they use
Your judgement. What do you see?
The waves roll in, crushing the grains
Of sand beneath its own immense weight.
You’ve been spoiled. Your whole life
Has been closeted to the comeliness of
The coast. Dreaming of simmering
Love affairs and social meetings in
Coffee shops on the tumultuous avenues of
New York City. You turn and begin to walk
Towards the roaring fireplace.
I’ve heard that you covet bedlam.
Some find the eroticism of chaos to be
Unnerving. Irritable, even.
Your guilt draws you downward,
And by the time you reach the
Mantel, you are crawling.
Your sobs echo through waxed halls,
And quiet dormitories.
You toss your weight into the flames
That lick up all of the love letters and
Empty plea bargains that have paraded
Around your thoughts for so long.
In divinity, they may refer to you as
An infidel. Someone whose faith has been
Spoiled. But I think “martyr” is more suiting.
You sacrificed yourself for more sins than your own,
Your weight was not yours to carry.

But only God and I know that, so here’s to you: The Infidel.

If only your skin was a lighter shade
Here, this bleach might come to your aid
If only your lips weren't so full
Maybe the boys would like you at school
If only your hair wasn't so *****
Here's some caustic chemicals to make it more slinky
If only your ******* weren't so large
Here's the number to a surgeon, call and see what they charge
If only your waist was smaller (just a few inches)
Here's a corset, see how tiny it cinches?
If only your *** wasn't so round
How 'bout you run some laps to lose a few pounds?
If only you'd get your nose out of books
I bet you'd garner more stares for your looks
If only you'd change your curious personality
I hear the masses prefer banality

If only you'd see me for me
Do you know how content I'd be?
If you can't do that
Then leave me be.

Hey, aren't you
That son-of-a *****
Whose mother jumped the wall.
Yea! You know who you are.
I spotted you hanging on the corner
Through the windshield of my car.
Were you talking conspiracy,
And planning your next job;
Dealing girls, drugs and guns,
Looking goth macabre.

You know who you are.
I saw you look right back at me
Through the side window of my car.
You were talking to your buddies,
I couldn't hear what you said,
I'm convinced it wasn't good,
By the tatoos on your head.

Yes, you know who you are.
You're still idley standing there,
In the rearview of my car.

And I try so hard and I never exceed

your expectations that plague me

I cannot see,

In front of me

Your judgment clouds my vision.

And now I can't make decisions.

Anxiety sets the tone,

Of how I'm all alone.

I'm afraid of failure.

I just wish I was someone greater,

Than me.

I'm sure everybody would agree.

Never let another say
that you are not,
perfect.

Never allow a doubt
enter your heart that
you are not,
perfect.

For God
in his infinite
wisdom has
made you a
perfection.

Perfect;
always believe
you are perfect,
at heart.

"There is no other state as gracious as self-reflection."

      "...and no other state as vicious as the self."

Perfect