It's lost forever the cowboy sunset for now the towers to catch the winds the beauty of the desert desolate lost to miles of glass that never ends I close my eyes to see my cowboy friends
What a place, oh what a place a place so strange to rest one's face. Three people parked for the night instead of cars. No ordinary family should sleep in such a space.
This was normal in our case. This is what we did. We'd sojourn from here to there. Sometimes at a nightly rate, sometimes with men who bore not my father's face.
I remember one smokey spot where drunk men found women to chase. There were rows of open green and sticks and smooth round stones. Crashing and clinking and cheersing while whiskey went down at a freakish pace.
A steady stream of Shirley Temple and a roll of quarters could keep me busy for hours. As long as I didn't sit on the stools or get too tired you had all the time you could waste.
I had to sleep eventually so you let me sleep while you went and watched the horses race. I woke in a teary terror in a silent and empty place. I dialed my dad, hid under the covers
and grabbed a kitchen knife just in case. That was the end of our run mommy our time together was done. You fell ill shortly after all this and you died in a feverish haste, in a feverish haste.
Crumble today, fall apart. Permit yourself this luxury, sweet. Cry till all anguish drains from your heart. Breathe – deeply – in, out, and repeat. Take a break, it’s not the same as conceding defeat.
It is remarkably difficult to find that moment in the middle of a day when nothing is on your mind, all the chaos just fades away, and somehow you know that you will be okay.
