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Lavender Menace Feb 2021
Let's go into the forest and play together in the end
A subterranean Wonderland to race afar to land
We’ll walk right past the gates, the signs and pleading in my head
And run right into the forest and dance without a flow,
Alone in all obscurity without our head and weave a twisting garland to hang upon our neck
Let's sing about non fiction words we play, I want to tear your hair out and prance around the trees.
Let's go into the forest with oil and a match,
let's sing a song so silent that everyone will hear, they think that we’re in pearl, chase us around the forest but you'll never catch me.
Let's write our songs on paper and blow them far away
and shudder on the pavement with oil in our hair. And oil slickens skin and it tastes like hay and statics round our tongue until there's nothing we can't say
Let's go into the forest, play hide and seek. I can't really hide from what's inside of me.
Lets dance and sing and fiddle and pull apart our ears until we hear the shanty everyone will hear.
And when it's dark  and cold let's strike a single match and whali about the colors as we watch our fingers catch.
Let's sing about the boiling bubbling on our skalp, and when the skin it cracks then you'll finally let me out.
Let's sing of all the birds that are trying to escape, racing from the forest out to seal our fate.
Let's sing about the smell of burning fur and oil and whatever's left of what I hurt looking for my morals,
Let's dance and fit around and try to listen to the glow, a miracle that creeps about your face and sharply trickles nettles that craze amongst your skin.
Lets **** about and croon out and feel my pretty eyes burst apart like a firework and even when they shush us never will we stop.
Let's sing about the simmer we feel upon our skin and about my hair as it burns oh so thin,
And all can hear the fissures that blaze along our neck.
Let's sing about the scars that render down to black and blaze and hop and boil like a bunny's pelt.
And even as our body shakes and jumps about we will still be buzzing until the fires out.
Let's sing about our heart as it ruptures with the flame, and as it withers up I will cry in joy and pain.
With the tears that never come, we can sing our song but when your eyes are melting and your cheeks are cracked that last thing left to warble is a joyous song.
And even when the heat folds and cracks apart our voice, we will keep on singing loud enough to hear the noise, and by the time they douse me with the holy water my song will be too low to reach the son and father.
Let's go into the forest and lie awake and think of the thinking things to do and the thinking things to make, and even if you miss me, I know that it's nor fair. I love you friend and even when you helped I never cared, please walk away alone and afraid and find someone who never wills to go away. And I will stay in the forest fighting through the night lying on my back and hoping you won't cry.  
Im sorry.
intrusive thoghts be finna realistic tho
Lydeen Dec 2020
Nighttime.
Cars light up my room.

I count.

The moon keeps me awake,
Beaconing.

I can hear you.

Telling me to do it-
Hurt me, you, them...

Everyone.

Thoughts SCREAMING.
Words begging to become actions.

I close my eyes.

Deep, deep, deep breath.
It's just a thought.

Grounded.

Soft sheets, pillows...
Moon, stars, lights.

It's quiet.
:-)
I don’t want fame or riches
I just want those solid fixes
I don’t want that perfect house
I only want a way out
That everyday
Clarity
And certainty
That my thoughts aren’t me
Just because you have a bad thought that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person but it’s hard to see that when you have OCD.
el Oct 2020
my mind
has parasites
they control
the way i
think, and
tell me to
do things i
don't want
to do .
it's like
two warring parts
of an intimate
*****, the
one that resides
in my skull
two forces of
opposite sides
pushing
against good
and evil .
and i am the
host
once full of life
now quite lifeless
as they take
me over
a shell .
i cannot think
my own thoughts
i cannot breathe my own air
if i fight with
them
they'll just
**** me
instead .
this poem is based off of intrusive thoughts.
(C) Elissar Mustapha
31/10/2020
crowther Aug 2020
rustic brain calls upon late a night, wishing things will be done by the breaking of dawn.

oh, how i wish these sleepless nights could end in a spur. for years i have calculated, but have not documented those hideous moments to ever enter my sight. everywhere i look, a bickering thought arrives as if a group of chattering teeth lines through my mind when i'm suppose to be at rest.

in this shallow moment, let this end.
in this shallow moment, let's stop crying silently in our bed.

and as the morning rises, we could see brightly of the horizon. forgetting it for awhile until it crawls through at night. an unending cycle that causes a lot of fright. as if our brains lingers to the thought too tight.

rustic brain will soon heal
or so, or just life's haunting thrill
a prose
Jane Jul 2020
I look, yet I'm blind,

I hear, but I'm deafened.

The radio static in my head is ever so lasting, unfailing.

I can rely on my instability,
my inquisitiveness turned to doubt.

I'm in love, but I can't love.
Have I ever learned to love?

I've always been loved, adored.
When did love become uncomfortable?

I'm the happiest I could've been,
but I'm blind to everything.

My strength is fragile,
I can't live like this.

I can't live when it's me who turns every drop of golden sunshine,
into tar.

Why can't I be happy?
Where are my screws loose?

Have I always been like this?
It can't be love that brought this out.

Something so pure, could not bring this out.

What is it like?
To not lead life with fear, paranoia and panic.

What is it like?
To wake up without sweat, a pounding heart, with a crowded head.

What is it like?
To love another, and oneself at the same time.

What is it like?
To not be me, to not live in constant torment.
Anxiety is the toxic friend you have.
DarkSkyesRising Jun 2020
Shhh
I can hear you thinking
Screaming in your head
Wishing you were someone else
Wishing you were dead

Shhhhh
I can hear your heart pounding
Faster, harder than it should
I can see it in your eyes
How you feel misunderstood

Shhh
It'll be ok, I promise
No more tears, no more fears
But right now I need the silence
I cant think past my own bleeding ears
Vampirecadence Apr 2020
I'm getting back my rhythm,
that flow that I missed,
kissed the wrong list,
I got so ******.

Punctured my own wheels,
walked up to the hills on heels,
got so tired, readily busted,
Nothing so far tested.

Preoccupied with disastrous hallucination,
I lost my sheer imagination.
took so many turns,
unguided blindly got hit by the red district.

So sorry, I missed my hit list.
Strange, where I got to sit next to the stranger,
followed the footsteps of my demons wicked derringer.

Oh my god, I've lost my mind, it's better to sleep,
Look who is talking, the loser who got easily broke and now he weeps.
Now I'm sleeping, not writing,  although I've got the rhythm and would try to write
better next time.

- shivamrealmyself
#poem #love #poetry #mental #illness #lyrics #hell #demon #back
Sh Dec 2019
Like remoras surrounding a great shark, Death too has company.
Little flecks of despair floating in the air around your body.

Desperate for their master, they harm you.
They can not touch a hair of your body, nor lay a hand on your shoulder.

Instead, they whisper.
Mean little thoughts, innocent suggestions that are nothing if not malicious.

Little proposals masked as questions-
"what if you did"

They can not push you off a building,
but they can urge you to stand at its top during a windy night.

They can not control your body to run in front of the hurrying cars,
but they can tell you-
"maybe you should"

Death has many little devotees, reuniting at the collection of your soul.
Poetry trapped
On the walls.
Elusive lips
Make me fall.
Catch me for all
That i am worth.

A penny here
A fraction there.
What can you spare?
I feel impaired.
I feel,
Apart.

Like a silhouette
Of my own breath.
So many tests.
All wicked, no rest
As i search for my chest.

.


A mindset. A mentality.
A behaviour. A belief.

I must transcend so I can sleep.
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