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Aniseed Apr 2016
Echoes of memories ricochet in
These old haunts of mine
Where the poison hasn't touched
And the only name I know here
Is Tom Collins.

Did we consume too much?
Did we stay too long?
Did the haze of the high
**** us dry?

It must have stolen
All the marrow in my bones
Because now, I am empty,
Listening to these ghosts for acoustics
While the seat beside me stays wanting.
I had a drink alone in a place we used to frequent for open mics.
Bittersweet.
Aniseed Mar 2016
I've always thought I loved storms;
Where the rain beats against my window,
Wind wailing, thunder rumbling,
Lightning painting streaks
Across the sky.
There's nothing like standing underneath
The angry clouds
And letting the cold rain
Wash all of your sins away.

I've always thought I was in love
With the sky;
The way it surprises me every day
In its spectrum of
Resplendent colors and soft greys.
Personified in my adoration
As maybe God himself,
If God even exists.
To this day, I'm not so sure,
But I know the sky and that's
Enough.

But as I wonder about these things,
These forces of nature,
I wonder about the circumstances
Surrounding my experiences with them.
I remember that, in the midst of storms,
I always have a home to run into
And a towel waiting for me to dry me off.
I remember that while the sky is
Ever changing,
It always remains there.

So maybe what I've always loved,
What I've always longed for,
Is comfort.

Is... stability.
For lack of a better title.
the dead bird Mar 2016
I just feel like
an empty shell*

those were
the only words I could find
when asked
to speak more
about how I've been
feeling

how can I describe
the way I
feel
when I don't even
feel
real?

an empty
egg shell
split in half
and lying in the trash
whose insides
were fried
to be devoured
by the devil

devil
or
lucifer
or
negativity
or
my own mind

all the same
thing
(being?)

the fragile
discarded
snake skin
leftover from it's owner's
moult-
the snake
is nowhere to be found-
just the shed
old skin
of who it used to be

the remnants
of the caccoon
after
the butterfly
takes it's leave

the box
that your Amazon order
arrived in
nothing left inside,
except packing peanuts

I no longer feel
like a human being
though that statement
implies
I've felt like one
before
(I haven't)

talking to others
makes me feel real
when I'm next to you
I pretend
there's something inside
of this empty
vessel

someone tell me-
what makes me
who I am?
as of right now
I feel like
all I am
is
a sack of flesh

a lump of meat
with the ability
to be aware of it's
self
unimportance
bad decisions

no soul
there's nothing inside
I have
never
felt whole

it's not just a
piece
of me
that is missing
it's the
entire
*******
thing
George van Horn Feb 2016
Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen yourself?
Or can you not see the soul through the eyes?
Stare until a glare has come, and left you holding your own existence in the palm of your hand
Stare until you lose the predetermined idea of what you are
Stare until you see yourself through the looking glass
And not just looking at the glass of your eye
Past the disguise is something purely extraordinary
See for yourself
Tom Fiddle Feb 2016
You
I should have grabbed your
hand.
Pulled you close to me
and lied.
Lied that I don't like blonds or
that one girl, with the blond
hair.
How romantic right?
Me staring into your eyes and
you're staring back.
But then you'll know the truth.
That I'm just a lost puppy
Looking for a home,
a place to stay,
a girl to listen
and some wine to drink.

But you can't know this
and you never will.
Instead you'll know half of it,
that I do like your hair and I think
about it all the time.
Brown with little blonde stripes,
I also like the way you talk, especially when you're drunk
without a care in the world.

****, now I sound like a *****.
Tom Fiddle Feb 2016
My heart is going to stop
beating
any moment now.
As I try to keep
up
with the current of life.
Reading books
and poetry,
dancing at clubs,
smoking cigs
at parties,
taking shots until
I'm rolling on your
carpet.
You see I'm living
a lifestyle that bound to
catch up with me.

My heart beats
and time passes by
while I lie down on my
bed and stair at the ceiling.
Thinking of the
time I spent with you,
talking to you about
**** I didn't know
anything
about.
Yet you still listened.

My heart continues to
beat for no
other reason but
to keep me alive.
And I keep living
because I will not go
out quietly, I'll rage on
maybe cause
Dylan Thomas told me
to.
But his heart has stopped
now
and mine will one
day.
SW Jan 2016
Saturday night – date night.
Trace the cracks in my palm,
What do they tell you?
How long is my lifeline?
[deepen my smile lines]

Truth or Dare
How much do you trust me?
Try to be unique and beautiful –
What makes me more than human?
everyone looks for the same thing
in a different color
[truth traps with easy intimacy]

If I kept a book of my answers
To questions
I could build myself with words
[first, i have to decide how to answer]

I'll pick me up at six oh eight
For a date
[with myself]
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