I lay here
My body pulsating with wonder
Awestruck
That my mind for so long has held at bay
The wandering hands
And
Primitive eyes
Of a man

sneak in for a minute
i cracked the door
i hoped you might
come explore

i’ll show you my coin collection
and my stuffed toys
boy, i might even
let myself enjoy

the pale of the moon
against your vibrant eyes;
while you stare to the stars
i see you now; so sublime
illuminating your blush
“just like us,” you whisper,
“lost dots in time”

There’s a certain safety in lukewarm love
in the thoughts I never speak, you are the first to leave
we lay in bed with only our backs facing each other
is this how it’s supposed to feel?
I’d never admit it but I stopped missing you when you’re gone
maybe it’s time we admit dependency is not the same as intimacy

In the eyes of another, I find the light I once lost
While searching for any trace of the same brightness in yours.

You are my world, but I am not matched to be yours.
I will embrace you in my memory until the end of time,
But I now must explore a new world, a new landscape.

A world that revolves around the sun,
Not a world that has been plunged into unmapped shade.

You will be saved by another explorer,
One that understands your beauty,
For I am nothing in comparison to your depths of intimacy.

i wish i could love someone as much as my cat loves me

and i wish i could feel something when i touch myself

i wish my life existed outside my room

i wish i had things to talk about