oh look
how cute
you actually think that people like you
that people want to spend time with you

do you really think you're that special?
you can't possibly be serious
nobody likes you
you spend your days whining and feeling sorry for yourself
who would want to be around that?

you're ugly
and alone

maybe if you work at it
try to hide the hideous scars

maybe if you change yourself
become someone who's more fun  

maybe if you never say no
maybe if you give them everything
you can't be disappointed
if you don't expect anything

than maybe
juuuust maybe
but i don't know
perhaps some people are not meant to be loved
or even liked
and you are one of those lucky few

but keep playing at it ***
it's sure entertaining to watch

All shapes are lost within this loop
A scene would flash — with frantic eyes
To play its piece — a soundless troupe
Deceased, the bones — replaced by cries

As newborn forms encased in ash
Their fate entwined in frozen waves
Reflecting on potential truth
Unsure — they seep, in creeks and graves

I am a breathing,living display of irony,
I am the happiest depressed girl you will ever meet,
I am the most confidently insecure girl you will ever know,
I constantly live in a state of calming panic
And most days I feel everything at once yet nothing at all.

you're like the moon,
filled with anxieties
but soon you'll bloom,
forgetting about all your insecurities

In darkness you'll shine,
the exquisite sight
you'll see through the night
tears will go dry

Insecurities:
Talk to me
When I don't
Talk to myself.
Voices:
Scream silence
When I don't Listen to them.
Emptiness:
Fills me
When I don't
Know myself.
Cravings:
Love me
When I don't
Love myself.
Lust:
Clings to me
When I don't
Caress myself.
Tears:
Stick by me
When I don't
Stick by myself.
Goodbye:
Welcomes me
When I don't
Welcome myself.
Does this mean
This won't be
If I do
Talk to myself,
Listen to myself,
Know myself,
Love myself,
Caress myself,
Stick by myself
& finally
Welcome myself
With open arms. - Disha Bhatia

keep me awake
i keep falling asleep

i keep forgetting 
that i have
fearfully crawled
into places filled
to the brim with
heartbeats and
suffocating heat
just to find myself
with dry palms
and a soft jaw
minutes later

i hold my tongue
only to cut it off
when i hate
the feeling of it
inside my mouth
and leave it for
him to hold
all pink and slimy
and frantic and cruel
and wonder
why it’s hard for him
to read my poetry

and every night
i lie my head
against the chest
of indifference
and swear that
i can hear the
lazy thump of
his affection
resting shallowly
below thin ribs

i am kept awake
through the
loneliness hours
considering
my own
self-inflicted
wounds
instead of dressing
the deep cut
we both share

the wet sheets and stale air,
lingering cigarettes, softness of your
rhythmic breath.
your legs in mine, your heels
on my toes, your head nestled in
the contours of my neck.

here is my place of calm:
your body. the clockwork of it,
how, every couple of minutes, you jostle,
and i squeeze you which sends you back still.
how dead the world is
outside of here. the stars are muted next to you.

it’s your unapologetic zealousness,
flaming confidence. you could be naked on a stage
(which you have) and not blink twice.
blatant disregard of opinion,
drop-kicking them away. the world is yours
and you are eating it whole.

you are brighter than this town.
destined for bigger and better things.
flashing your white smile,
you could charm the gods to your will.
i only hope i can keep up, or, rather,
that you let me.