things were different and
time and circumstances allowed us to do be together?
I wouldn’t have been confused about how I felt
I wouldn’t have kept my guard up too high
I wouldn’t have been scared of getting into a relationship
I wouldn’t be hurting right now seeing you with her and wonder
w h a t i f
that was me instead?
if you would be willing
to lend me some of your time..
i can prove to you
that i'm worth more than
just a spare second to say hello
i can show you
that i don't deserve the role
as an understudy for those who
can't be there for you
i will make it known to you
that i am not someone you can dispose of
after you've gotten what you needed from me
how will you know all these things if you won't
of your time
What hurts is when you pour so much of your time and effort on people you care about, but they don't do the same for you.
there’s this urge
that comes and goes at random times
there’s this urge
and distance myself
from everyone in this world
just for the sake of being alone
see if there’s someone who’ll notice
that i’m hiding inside myself
see if they care enough to break down
the barriers and allow me to be
part of what the world has in store
i locked myself inside
so i can feel a sense of freedom
ironic isn’t it?
my own little world
just a small room away from the stigma of this household that lies beyond that bedroom door
just a little something that isn’t yours to take along with the others you’ve already taken away
my personal freedom
mom, when will the day come that you will learn to accept that there is a man that can love me too?
if i were a gymnast,
i could rub my hands with chalk
everything that i once knew
all the memories that i held on to
won’t slip away from my hands
seasons of change
my heart feels empty
because he moved on
from the feelings he had for me;
and these are feelings i keep to myself
hoping one day, i won’t have to imagine what we could’ve been.
hoping one day i won’t have to pretend about my happiness for him.
hoping one day, i stop longing for someone that doesn’t belong to me.