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Kaity Jan 22
knuckles bleeding
drip down
to the ***** bathroom floor
rose petals
and diamonds  
across the black and white tile beneath my feet
the bitter taste of defeat
sitting on
the tip of my tongue

eyes travel upwards
to where it used to be
dull eyes
sallow skin
yellow teeth
a corpse
i see in front of me

the corpse meets its empty eyes towards mine
a knowing smirk on its face
taunting

"i am you and you are me"

blind rage
and fury
only wanting to destroy
a craving for a feat

the dead eyes
show no emotion
but still they glimmer
with this sort of obscenity
knowing full well
of the agony created
with the waxy blue lips and destruction
caused by the skeletal limps

malice is all this monster knows

"i cannot be you, this cannot be me'

i try to look away but
the corpse is all i see
shuttering images
of the nails,
the lips,
the teeth

i grab the dagger i see before me
smashing the image
slaying the beast
till it's nothing but glittering diamonds
till i taste the blood between my teeth

knees weak
salty tears
and crimson rivers
the corpse smiles

"i am you and you are me"
"Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still." -Macbeth
Kaity Jan 21
i'm driving alone

alone again

lights are flashing

again and again

i see your face
lightened by the passing cars and
the streetlights
of 3 AM

i'm so tired of being alone
feeling as though
i am not known
to anyone
but me

glass shown
see through
unknown

you don't see me
and god i wish you cared
but i do

i wish i didn't
i wish i didn't
i wish i didn't

but i do
again and again

i keep caring for your apathetic glance
and your swaggering stance
for something
that doesn't even stand a chance

i'm driving alone

again and again

by now i'm used to it

again and again

and one of these days
i won't see your face

perhaps it will be another
all i know is that it will be replaced

or perhaps not one at all
just the lights of 3 AM
again
and again
and again
i sometimes get the feeling that i'm in this endless cycle of falling in love with people that are destined to break my heart.
Kaity Jan 2020
i wish to be apart of your universe
not the whole of it
i wish to be a passing thought
even if it's just for a little bit
i don't want your world to revolve around me
i'm content to be a star
a name you think of within your day
even when i'm far
as long as i'm apart of your memories
it will be all be fine to me
and as long as when recollecting
my face is one you'll see
even long after, i'm no longer here
i hope my voice is something you'll hear
i hope i'm not, this passing voice
a distant call, a fleeting choice
i don't want want to be a shadow, within your mind
i want to be vivd, as you are in mine
i'm not asking your world, or even your love
i'm asking if my presence, will be enough

will you remember me?
it's been awhile
Kaity Nov 2019
tell me something sweet to hear
play that music that drowns your fear
play that jazz that swings and slides
and the rock n' roll that never dies

we can listen to the classic songs
by the Beatles and Elton John
just pick your poison and album too
whatever it is I'm down to do

no matter the soundtrack, I want you here
I'll be singing the words if it keeps you near
so roll down the window and let down your hair
let's never forget these nights we share
Kaity Oct 2019
it's the same situation again
i'm driving on this darkened road
i can't see anything around me
except
this single glowing light that's ahead
i don't know what this light is, but i know what it feels
it's that feeling of almost reaching something
but not being quite there
it's the feeling of almost accomplishing the goal
but not matching up
it's that feeling
of almost
whether it's because of this subconscious desire
or obsessive yearning,
i need to reach this light
i have to make it to this light, whether it's the last thing i do
i don't know if i'll ever each this light
but i have a whole lifetime to find out
mysterious light
where are you?
Kaity Mar 2019
You’re almost there
You’re almost pretty enough
Almost funny enough
Almost lovable enough
But
Not quite
Keep working
Keep selling your soul
Keep running till you can’t stand
And maybe
Just maybe
You’ll get there

Almost
Note really a poem but just some thoughts
  Dec 2018 Kaity
Ally Ann
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
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