What doesn't **** you
Makes you wish you were dead
That taste of the edge
Latches onto your bones
And grows like the mold
In the plaster basement cracks
In the pit of my soul
That grows deeper and deeper
And I can't take
The heavy weight
Of my own screams
And my buried mistakes
One more moment of silence
Might as well shatter me
I'm a porcelain doll
With a fragile disposition
Easily offended and losing friends
The loneliness is haunting me
Animating the skeletons
I sleep beside
I'm too scared
To lay in my bed
Ever since she left
So I make my home
In a nest of scarves
And support myself
The best I can
But the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up
I'm the furthest thing
From Atlas
I do my best
But since when has "best"
Meant anything

I hunger for attention,
As if each like, view or subscription,
Changed the description of me.
That my worth was tied,
To each follow as hollow as my heart.
Yearning for internet fame,
When my wounds are to blame,
For the despicable state that is me

Saturday, August 11, 2018
9:43 PM

A person goes out to town to cure
Boredom or loneliness
Often looking to conquer both

Even an introvert wants company
It’s taken six years to go search

I found a coffee shop
With a black box room

I took a seat
And waited for the host
To start the show
Improv comedy
Never been to one of those

The host asked
What’s inside this invisible box
Answers came out from the audience

I said a can of worms
Not loud
I hate attention
But the host heard
And chose that can of worms

Someone listened to me
And now they are making
Me my own personal joke

I got to admit
I was jealous
Each member has conquered
The fear of people
Of being in front of people
Of speaking to people
Acting crazy in front of people

The show was great
We all had a laugh
One day I will thank them
And maybe one day
I’ll join on that stage

Just one foot in front of the other
Next week is a poetry reading
And that’s where I’ll be