cigarettes make me feel better about abandoning you
I want a jeep because of when you would drive your mom's
and play rap songs
I want to be what I thought you were

it was a normal day.
the lighter never slipped my fingers,
never once did I slip through my hits.
I sat against the wall thinking it was gonna rain.
it didn’t, but my world still came crashing
everything started spinning
i was watching myself do things that weren’t real
I told myself ‘no, this is real. I’m doing normal things’
I’d look up, and i was somewhere else
somewhere not familiar
some place that was so scary that I could no longer breathe
i’d look down at the real ground, knowing i was back
it was normal again
however when I’d look up, it was a different time
a different day
a different reality
what was happening?
I was so lost, I couldn’t remember
who I was, where I was
the only thing I could do after staggering into the car
was to stare outside
focus on what I knew was real
but then someone would say something
and I was lost again
seeming endless
hopeless
I wanted to die
I was tearing up every 30 seconds
soon I was at the park
breathing again
arguing with jonathan
about how his beliefs were wrong
I was back
everything was ok
I needed a break from this
I got home, safely,
shook up, and scared
but it was alright
everything was alright

She is like an indie film played backwards, just a bunch of beautiful pictures.
And her eyes roll like rizla between the italian mans fingers.
She smokes with pouted lips, as if ready to kiss her lover.
She looks the same when he pulls on her hair and glides his tongue over the skin of her neck.
And she smiles the same smile when his teeth graize her *******.
Her eyes also roll when his hands hold onto her waist and she remembers the lipstick stain she left on the end of her cigarette.
She leaves the same stain on the rim of his .... forefinger.
‘I don’t know why I like you so much.’ He whispers into her curls.
‘It’s because I remind you of hash and tobacco.’ She replies.

We hate the pills the we're prescribed,
But love the ones that get us high.

Feeling...
Ceiling...
Crush another can,
Something wonderful!
Wasted now,
Broken house...

Yeah...

Defeat,
Concrete...
Take another hit,
And it's all complete,
Just **** me,
Oh,  **** me...

Yeah...

Can't you see?
It's my creed,
Blood red seas,
So permanently!
And this is me!
Oh, this is me...

Yeah...

Sunlight,
So bright,
I think about a day,
I've never had my rights!
I'm Equal,
And Unequal...

Yeah...

Shadow ball!
Oh,  shadow ball,
Tell me why I never
Had faith at all!
Just let me sleep,
Oh, let me sleep,

Yeah...

Oh, Hashish,
And *****,
I can't imagine when
I've ever felt so numb!
Just guide me,
And hide me...

Yeah...

It's something new,
And something *******,
A form of happiness
I never thought I'd brew,
But still, I knew,
Oh, I knew...

Yeah...

Shadow ball,
Oh, shadow ball,
Tell me why I never
Had faith at all!
Just let me feel,
And leave me be...

Yeah...