it was a normal day.
the lighter never slipped my fingers,
never once did I slip through my hits.
I sat against the wall thinking it was gonna rain.
it didn’t, but my world still came crashing
everything started spinning
i was watching myself do things that weren’t real
I told myself ‘no, this is real. I’m doing normal things’
I’d look up, and i was somewhere else
somewhere not familiar
some place that was so scary that I could no longer breathe
i’d look down at the real ground, knowing i was back
it was normal again
however when I’d look up, it was a different time
a different day
a different reality
what was happening?
I was so lost, I couldn’t remember
who I was, where I was
the only thing I could do after staggering into the car
was to stare outside
focus on what I knew was real
but then someone would say something
and I was lost again
seeming endless
hopeless
I wanted to die
I was tearing up every 30 seconds
soon I was at the park
breathing again
arguing with jonathan
about how his beliefs were wrong
I was back
everything was ok
I needed a break from this
I got home, safely,
shook up, and scared
but it was alright
everything was alright