Through a frosted window,
I may have seen your face.

Once,
about five years ago.

I still have the framed painting
you brought me from
Newfoundland.

You mentioned something about the landscape.

Signed with X's and O's.

It sits in the back of my closet,
and I make the excuse
that I need a nail.

But really, I just
don't have the

desire,

to look at it.

men ain't ****, she says to me
HE isn't ****, i agree
i miss him
i love him
i hate him
she whines
he's toxic
he's dangerous
he's unworthy
i say all the time
i know she responds
with an aching heart
so why can't i seem to let go
if all he does is tear me apart?

because HE is your normal,
source of comfort, embodiment of love
he taught you the ways of living with venom
and your brain knows he's bad
but your heart's made of denim
though he's made those rips
HE plays the victim
and your pretty little face, i answer with disgrace,
believed the pretty little lies that spilled out of him.

I gave you all my love
I gave you all of me
And it still wasn't enough

But I,
I am enough
And you,
Will never convince me otherwise

I wish I was your
One and only rather than
Your one of many

I remember it, like the back of my hand.
You walked towards me and I stood, sweaty palms intact.
You started talking and I swear I couldn’t breathe.
And worse off, you'd only said Hi to me..
I didn't know where to go from there
I'd dropped my books in the hall,
your fingertips brushed my hand
I didn't understand.
Why help me?
You have places to go, people to see.
So why'd you stop to help me.
You didn’t stop there,
you stopped me in the hall, asking for the class notes.
Little did I know you started building my hopes.
The trips to my house, the late night talks...
I couldn’t pinpoint what made me fall,
in my mind you had it all.
The tricks of the trade spun differently for you,
you have this thing about all the things you do.
You did it for me right?
Wrong.
You did it for her.
I was blindsided,
I never saw it coming, but it snuck up quick.
Like a predator chasing its prey, I never stood a chance.
You wanted me, to get to her.
Did you see us together all the time?
Is that how the plan unfolded in your mind?
You knew were inseparable,
Sisters connected at the hip.
You took a crash course on crashing,
Taking my best friend from right under me.
I didn’t see it coming, so can we go back?
Can I get a redo?
Cause now all I feel is hate with every little thing you do.
I wouldn’t of let my palms sweat, my heart race.
I wouldn’t have kept pace with my feelings.
My books would have stayed spread out on the floor,
When you came to see me at home, I would have shut the door.
Those notes would have stayed in my binder
the ignore button would have served as my reminder.
My blushes wouldn’t have reacted,
and my hand would have retracted.
My eyes would have wandered,
that ‘hi’ wouldn’t have left my lips.
I would have kept walking,
and I wouldn’t be left like this.

You said that you were leaving,
At first I tried to stop you.
And you did stop and you stayed,
But only for a little while.

So we laughed, lived, and enjoyed.
Laughed until we were crying.
Lived like we would never die.
Enjoyed each other so much.

We cried until we forgot,
Forgot about why we cried.
But then it had all come back.

You said you were leaving,
But this time I kept quiet.
You didn't stop.
You didn't stay.

We cried.
We  **died.

Once I thought love was tangible.
That it was gentle, precious
Careful and sweet
                                                           ­   Then I realized that love was an idea
                                                            ­  A theory that bruised and crumpled
                                                        ­                  Until you were used and torn



                                        *I don’t believe in love anymore