kids being bullied
became your friend,
students who failed,
met you,
suffering wives,
lovers, especially lovers,
were your favorite ones,
oh god,
even a person at the top,
came to end by you,
dear suicide,
you need to be stopped.

there's more to live for, life will get better,
just like the rainbow after the storm.

Shallow sunlight
Reaching grey areas.
Sporting berating frowns
And horrid, gaunt eyes.

Peeking
into black corners.
Turbulent emotions.
The stars and the sea kiss
just a footstep backward.

Noises drown.
Eyes burn.
Head smarts.

Flopping on the hamster wheel.
Resting on coffee makers.
The delicacy of energy bars served
on a silver plate.

And your body screams:
imalright.
While your hands scrabble for a handhold
on a self polished cliffside.

When you realise you're running faster than the treadmill.
It's already too late.

are you okay...
i'm walking down the long hall, after a long day
a girl quite a few inches taller than me,
hears my voice and turns to see
she looks to be about my age,
but something in her eyes doesn't want to engage
she looks empty and hurt,
like a voice battling to let it all out in a blurt
the tears down her face,
i can't help but wonder where their origins trace
so i go to the step and sit down,
so maybe, despite there being no water, she won't drown

I breathe in the calamity
the scent of chaos overwhelming my senses
and I sit in this musk
this odor of turmoil
this crawling feeling that comes tandem with disarray
my mind is never calm
in this moment I find myself agitated
eager to move to a motionless mindset
where everything makes sense
and nothing is clouded in a fog of uncertainty
but here I sit paralyzed physically by a mental block
in time it will pass
in time it will pass

I don't drive down the middle
Of a back road with no name
On a dark night in the pouring rain.
I don't skip meals for days on end
Well, maybe I do,
But not as often as I used to.
I don't lay in bed staring at pills
That I know could end it
If I took one too many
And I don't question
How much "too many" is
That's mostly because
I already know the answer
But it's still progress.
The scars are fading
And my skin doesn't burn so much
Anymore, in fact
Its grown numb over the years.
And that's a nice change
Compared to the pain
Of wanting to end it
But knowing there is something to live for.
It was never because I felt
That I had no purpose
Or that you would be better of without me.
You were right when you said
That I was purely selfish
For wanting to go.
My reasons were simple,
I was so ******* tired
And as I glance towards the gun
Quick enough that you will never notice the longing that lingers in my eyes
I realize
I still ******* am.

Spreading the truth
Helpful
Useful member of society
Not garbage
Not ****
Everest submitting mountaineer
Deserving of happiness

Shunned
Tough times and life
Ignorance of others
Gifted girl
Medication being taken
Attempted suicide many times