If I could start from scratch, I’ll rage war earlier in attempts to conquer my own flaws, in order to be pillar and make something of myself, be a blessing to those I dare open up to, as some have been to me, growing pains is in retrospect, but I guess a contribution to youth is always adjoined to learning. If I could start from scratch, I’ll celebrate my 18th by vowing to stay clean, showing up to recovery and never saying a single to word any other in those rooms. If I could start my life from scratch, I would learn about death, growing my learning thoughts to its definition and learn how to die. We all die one day. And I’ll open up death’s fade. It isn’t a crime unless if they catch you. If you live for yourself, you’ll die in shame. If I could start from scratch, I’ll hug every person who is kind enough to say hello. If I could start my life from scratch, I’ll value reading poetry, for the sake of the poet, who had spent their entire time, articulating the world’s thoughts that are mixed in with emotions. I’ll respect the Devil, because truth doesn’t change and faith isn’t required when it comes to it. For now, if you get too close, I’ll clap you. And wouldn’t reside to victimhood when I got to leave home, because they had no money and the lack of understanding others leaves room of void, no one will truly know until we all trade places. Life isn’t promised, I’m still blessed to every dollar I’m getting. And I’m still being guilty of being anxious. I’ve given up on getting a fair go. Reality demands something else to what society gives back, the duality of humanity, breeds fair go to those who develop originality. To soak up pain, is to understand, but I wouldn’t dare to sing gospel, I’ll sit quite, because I heard that when one weeps, you’re alone. I heard a blast. When I die, I want to be a living legend. For they try to **** me. If I could start my life from scratch, I wouldn’t prevent myself from falling down, I’ll come to grips with it.There’s no other feeling like getting up and trying again.  Than again, I could part from my past, but never to replace it, so coast to coast, before going broke, I’ll ****** their wallets and run. Than focus on dying without a whimper.
(knowledge variable)

my demons come alive in the day time
not just at night ,
so if you ask me why
i never close my eyes ,
it just might be my mind filled with fright

with no chance of escape
i chase death to be my fate
should i hold my breath
i need not be saved
i must jump at the chance before it’s too late

hopeful to rise to heaven
as the demons cannot be risen
hopeful to leave this earth
with my body as their prison

if i should ever return
( that is believing in reincarnation)
amongst the streets a familiar face you’ve been missing

please , i beg of you

don’t tell my demons.

Gushing through the wave of endless sorrow,
I lift my head to the sky and gaze.
Looking upon the void that left me in amusement,
I exclaimed, "stars do shine the brightest when we were in total darkness".

When we fall and no other attempts
                                       to help us up.
But a enemy pulls us from our lowest point.

We know that friends are just an illusion
                 and enemies show there true colours
                                         through our hardships. enemies

Being the ones who are our hardest critics,
                                     but the first to clench
                               there fist is true meaning.

what happened to you?
that you were so afraid of messing up
these words mean nothing
and being thrown to the dust
because all these gifts and memories take nothing to the test
hyper visions of misery heightened, the wise are unknown
curses and shadows brew 'round their heads
or stars and spaceships from the planet of the undead

what happedned to you that you felt so empty yet so mad and angry?
a raging fire of something unseen, something unknown
far from your reach
they say expeirence and memories shape who we are
but i cant recall a gooddamn thing that made us who we are

what happedned that you could take that bullet to the head placing that gun inside of their hand?
a trigger, a flash, a ringing sound about
yet nothing splatters at the wall because we know once and for all
that what happened to you happened to me and no matter how much you think it might be
our names will never be graved in that stone
for one
one can only
die
a l o n e

Broken glass,
Shattered dreams,
I've never had,
All of the things,

Fixing my heart,
Cleaning its mess,
Pulling apart,
Until the end.

Smoke and flames,
Are all I that see,
Nowhere to escape,
Nowhere to flee.

My heart’s a prison,
Holding me captive,
To my own rhythm,
Making me saddened.

Wings on my back,
Fly me to death,
Stealing my corpse,
But I've always kept,

Faith in my head,
Hope in my mind,
Won't ever end,
If I never find,

The key to my door,
My lock’s only match,
I'll have to soar,
I'll need to catch,

All of my sorrow,
And leave it behind,
Only to borrow,
From time to time.

The pain she bored was heavy to hold ;
It ate her mind but she never told,
To anyone she never shown;
She sat by herself and wondered why,
Life was unjust and made her cry
Heavy bags were evident to see,
That the pain she bore was not letting her sleep;
But she somehow seemed to cast a smile
Silently telling me she was alright
But in those glossy eyes I could see
The pain she bore was there indeed
My heart hurt to see her pain
Which she tried to hide again
So I held her close to let her know
That I'll be with her and never go.

You steal from me,
laughter from my throat,
the smile in my eyes
you’ve stolen memories
I can’t escape the irony,
gentle rain falling,
replacing tears I could have wept
but you’ve stolen them all away
all shed for you until
I had nothing left,
my eyes dry and destitute
The silence is heavy, shrouding my ears,
settling on my shoulders
I have nothing left to give,
you’ve taken it all
over-hungry, overreaching
the scraps you yanked from the table and devoured
I have nothing left to give, no warmth or love
My heart is wrung dry, hung outside,
battered by the unwavering elements
You’d think the rain would replenish it, lend me strength
but instead I sit on the ledge
with only lingering thoughts of you to keep me warm.

"Jewel"


Watched it all through the lenses  

of a boy without defenses.            

That’s when the world was ugly,

and I hadn’t developed senses.



Crippled imagination,

built up wisdom with cunctation,

my peers all mocking smugly.

Assent, their single fixation.



I survived adolescence.

Thoughts, a cultural excrescence.

Could everything be broken?

Just a jest of convalescence.



I knew I’d end up finding

how to loosen up the binding.

And when the words were spoken,

swift, the future went unwinding.



“I do.” She said. And I too.

We wed and were reborn anew.

But where would we set our sights

but a happiness overdue?



The life we’d made extended,

though after some life had ended.

She swims through days, sleeps through nights.

Loved as I’d always intended.  



A mystery, pain, torment.

And virtue, we misrepresent.

Fire is hot, and ice is cold.

And naught I can do to prevent.



But love is warm. Courage, cool.

So allow these to be your fuel.

I’ll teach her then, to be bold,

shine in the sun like a jewel.