What if you were to see my tears of joy, instead of sadness?
What if I were to bask in the warm waves and let them consume me?
What would the world be like if I could branch out my wings and fly like this more often?

Would you even recognize me?
Would you understand all that I missed during my times of sorrow?
Would you notice when I am reborn into happiness, and will you remember it too?

God, I hope so.

This feeling is transformative,
to be alive like this,
and it is so comforting to be
held in the universe's embrace.

Perhaps you'll get a taste of who I've always been.

My economics textbook says
resources, products, services are scarce
and should be distributed by market-relations:
those who can afford to pay money
get the resources, products, services
and those who cannot afford to pay money
do not get the resources, products, services;

But I think
my economics textbook
has a scarcity-mentality
which looks only to the short-term;

I think
the human aspiration
should be
over the longer-term
to strive with optimism to achieve
an abundance
of resources, products, services
distributed by market-relations and by any way
so that every person
can get enough to be happy.

Look around and tell me, who’s happy?
Isn’t happiness the goal above all?
Or rather to avoid feeling sorry
For ******* away the springtime in spite of the fall?

When I was young
I assumed
and naively believed
every person was being good
and I lived in a 'society of angels':
people who were seeking my happiness
and their happiness
and the happiness of all people in society;

Then I experienced
people attempting to exercise power
over me
and I learned
society is currently organised
by people exercising power over people
even when it leads to people's unhappiness;

And I experienced
people attempting to exercise rule-based authority
over me,
people who expected my behaviour
to conform to rules
they create and enforce upon me,
and I learned
society is currently organised
by people enforcing rule-based authority over people
even when it leads to people's unhappiness;

I dream
of a happier society,
a society organised
by authorities and citizens
who are people seeking their own happiness
and the happiness of all people in society.

I have spent years seeking approval, appreciation, validation... things I felt needed to come from others in order for them to be real.
.
.
.
Maybe it's time for me to give those things to myself.
.
.
.
I don't need permission to experience good things.

The greatest gift happened when I was fourteen years old.
It was the greatest gift that I already knew it was,
And that I already knew I loved it and will never want anything else.
The greatest gift happened so quickly,
but also slow at the same time.
And that greatest gift will always be the greatest.
And that greatest gift was you, Chris.