I feel stupid.
Only I could be this naive
You're not to blame, I was so deluded
And now I'm left to grieve
Over all the could've beens that never were
What should have happened and never did.

We used to walk
We used to talk
Now that you're six feet under
Until we meet, I'll always wonder

You used to make me laugh
You used to be my other half
Now that you're gone
I'm all alone

I miss your sweet kiss
I miss our bliss
Now that you're in eternal slumber
Our days are already over

I'm sorry if I ended it
But I must admit
I was satisfied
When I saw you died

Now that I'm free
Would you be
My next
ex?

You broke my heart when you left me.

You flew away and into a car.

You've always been an angel, but didn't use your wings that day.

In fact, you didn't even use your seat belt. You didn't use your steering wheel. Didn't use your breaks. You just drove right into them.

Why..

   why?

You left me my friend. What am I supposed to do, now?

Without you, a piece of me is lost and I don't know if I'll ever find it again. I don't know if it even exists anymore.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't knowwww, I wish you were here to help me. I wish I was there to help you.

Our actual presence here is mystery
And do we really want to know
Why we live, why we die ?
Is it really worth it ?

I'm confronted to death all the time
My work englobes taking care of pain
But I can't manage mine
And now, I'm the family of the dead.

What do say to someone who's now alone ?
Where do we go after we're dead ?
"Did he suffer, when he died ?" How do I know ?
And why do we really want to know ? What if it's yes ?

What is life ? What's the purpose of living?
Don't you wanna try, living a dead's life ?
What does he see now, where did he go ?
I just wish him to be in peace.

We kissed us
A fine windy evening
So warm and gentle, yet thrilling
We grasped, we held, we touched

It felt quite eloquent
We tasted each other bitterness
And sensed each pain we had
We mourned, we grieved, we gnawed

We had our eyes slightly closed
Time's told to stop ambling
The universe dropped dead
As goddesses were gazing

We kissed us
We collated each other laxity
We created another rhapsody
We possessed as we became one

Jan, 28 2016.

Red as you bleed to death,
Red as you grieve for help.

nightmare kissed me
until I wake up
with swell on my eyes
and thunderbolt in my chest
cause though you're not around
I still recall your kind face
but I wonder how can
the sun still smiles without you
like any other pretty days?
then it got me thinking,
one day,
will I be
*forgotten too?

can I have
just a day of our time
maybe a walk in the park
or a coffee with heavy talk
just a moment of us
watching comedy on YouTube
laughing until we choke an icecube
just a ceremony for you or me
when I exchange vows with him
or when your son turned three
just one
just one more
of you,
brother

thinking back now
you are gone, now
no more birthdays to celebrate
no more parties to cheer on
no more jokes to laugh at
together with you
no more you
no more me too