Tell me this is not the end
That you simply just forget
To ask me how I'm doing
When I'm lonely once again

I am losing faith at best
In the promise that we're friends
I still see no interaction
From the words we haven't said

There's still no standing argument
To suggest it's in my head
I cannot be the only one
Who's concerned the other's dead
(Right....?)

But if there's nothing left to say
Then I suppose I need to rest
Silence can often speak volumes
When you're laying on your bed

So teach me how to handle it
And rest assured I'll try my best
Maybe I can finally get ahead of this
Cause I could really use a reset

To be okay when I'm by myself
And start this once again
To know when I should stop and reflect
To be thankful for all you've been
To me....

At a time when I was held prisoner
By my shy nature
Especially when it comest to talking with girls
You put your best foot forward
In order to break the ice
Which was doing its best
To try and freeze me to death
As though I were but in Antarctica
So, I thought you my friend
Mind you, an assumption it wasn't
You called me your best friend
Not once or twice
But many a time
You even called yourself my sister
A trusting person that I am
I took you at face value
Which was probably one of the biggest mistakes
Of my life in entirety
If Australia dominated cricket
You were my dominator
Your name stands for desire
And all you desired
Was getting your way
When it comest to anything and everything
You were such a drama queen
You put the Kardashians to shame
Only your "bestest friend" escaped
From your terrifying glare
Which burnest everything in its path
Much like Lord Shiva's third eye
You were always right
We were always wrong
Again, with a notable exception
Your precious little "bestest friend"
What he saw in you
Only God knowest
Marking you absent in the attendance register
Which was but my duty
Turned out to be a crime
Fouler than ****** itself!!
How dare I mark the "Queen" absent
Even if she were indeed absent!!
How dare I support Chennai Superkings
Even if I were but from Chennai
Not to mention, a huge fan of MS Dhoni!!
East or West, North, South Or Central
Mumbai Indians were always the best
All other teams were trash
You and your whims and fancies
Driveth all of us mad
Quicker than a tracer bullet
As Ravi Shastri would say
Even to this day
But you were my best friend
Not to mention, my sister!!
So mum I kept
As would a fiercely loyal dog
Even when ignored by its master
After our college days endeth
I stayed in touch
As would every friend in the world
In particular, a best friend
But best friend you were certainly not
I can forgive even an enemy
But not a friend who cuts me off
For the flimsiest reason in the world
To you, I was wrong
Though reality speaketh otherwise
But hey, why would I want to lose my best friend?
So did I apologise
Not once or twice
But many a time
Though for the kind of response I receiveth
Might I have spoken to the wall instead!!
After ages and ages
Cometh your response
As arrogant as James Potter in his school days
You showeth me your true face
Nothing but a jumped up rich Punjabi Brahmin
Who thinkest she were the best
In not just India
But the world in its entirety
Gone was your sweet tongue
In full display was a mini Bellatrix Lestrange
Ready to **** even her best friend
As the real Bellatrix did
With her cousin Sirius Black
Well, I would rather I died
Than maintain a friendship
With a cunning ***** like yourself
You deserve not
A single true friend in the world
Not even your "bestest friend"
You smashed my self-confidence
Into a billion little pieces
Pieces that I continue to pick up
Even to this day
Something I could but have avoided
Had I not taken you up
On your offer of friendship
Which was but as fake
As the smile of a Kardashian
I endeth on this note
It is but a lesson to all
Not to get swayed by sweet tongues
Scratch beneath the surface
Then only showeth up the true character

What did I lack, as a friend?
I always helped you
Even when I was busy
I provided you moral support
I stood up for you
When you were made fun of
I took time out for you
As and when I could
I even invited you over to my home
Along with my other friends
And my mother and grandmother took great trouble
To ensure that you all had a delicious lunch
They treated you like a family member
And after college, I continued to keep in touch
As much as I could
Though I made new friends, during my MBA
I never ever forgot you
Also, in case you forgot
It was you
Who wanted to be friends with me in the first place
At a time when I was too shy
To initiate conversations with girls
You broke me out of my shell
So, I thought it was obvious
That you cared for me
How wrong I was
You just saw me as a project
Which eventually got completed
After we left college
I was nothing more to you
Than a tool, to be used and thrown
I was never truly a friend to you
Though you called me your best friend
And that too multiple times
You took offense over a harmless comment
And cut me off from your life
It never occurred to you
That I could be very sensitive
And therefore such an incident could impact me adversely
Including destroying my self-esteem
And creating trust issues
Anyway, you may be flying high at the moment
But keep in mind
That, as the ancient cliche goes
"What goes around comes around"
I have nothing more to say
Except that you can try to be a better human being
And think about other people as well
After all, the world doesn't revolve around you alone

You may think you are special
Because you are rolling in money
And have lots of boyfriends
But the reality is as different
As chalk is from cheese
A person is special
Due to his/her character
Or what s/he does
You have a personality that is so shallow
That it would put even the Kardashians to shame
And that is saying something
You do not know the first thing about friendship
And yet consider yourself an ideal friend
To one and all
While you proceed to ghost someone
Whom you've known for years and years
All because of a silly comment
On a photo of yours on social media
Someone may be your BFF one day
And turn into a mere acquaintance the next day
For you, people are like bubblegum wrappers
To be used and thrown at a moment's notice
Of course, as we all know
There's no point in breaking your head over people
Especially in a our rather fickle-minded society
But when you act all high and mighty
As though you're always right
And everyone else is wrong
It really gets my goat
Again, you may think you are special
Based on money, good looks or the number of boyfriends you have
But all these will get you nowhere in life
Because, there will be a time
When you are in desperate need of help
And you will find
That the only people who can be of use
Are the ones whom you've already chucked

i am who i am
and that will never change
i am the same as i was a year ago
when the roses start to fade

i guess i'm not enough
to make tears run down your face
i still wonder if you care
if you even know my name

i don't understand
why we cannot co-exist
i never wanted to hurt you
with my poisonious lips

how deep are your scars
for us to make it this far?
there's a hundred million friendships
but all i wanted was ours

Late night phone calls
Conversations and sapphic dreams
Days got so long
I couldn't keep her entertained
It’s haunting and painful
Loving what you can’t hold

Coldness crept beneath the warmth
I thought she gave
Ensnared me; constricting
I couldn’t breathe
Thought I was breathless because I loved her
But she killed me with her sweetness

Worry, confusion
Tainted memories
Agony and heartache
Looking back in vain

I’m blurry, misguided
Troubled and insecure
Uncertain and lonely
Trying to find a cure
To all of my despair
Thought she was something more

Wet and red
As my wrists bled
She was there
In every tear I shed
What a haunting way
To honor
The memory of a ghost

Priestess in my memories
Temptress in my dreams
Why was it so easy?
So easy to leave me?
To hurt me?
How was it so easy to let me go?

I’m still holding on
To all the things I can’t recall
You must have took them all
On our last call
The sound of your laughter
The sound of your voice
Choking on your tears
I still remember

Worry, confusion
Tainted memories
In the tea stained color
Of her eyes
Agony and heartache
Looking back in vain

I’m blurry, misguided
Troubled and insecure
Uncertain and lonely
Trying to find a cure
To all of my despair
Thought she was something more
But I was colorblind, I should’ve known
When our love was blue in a world of red

How could I spell out love when it is absent of her name?
The way her eyes reflected a sunrise, the envy of Eos
She was like honey in the sky, the amber of her energy enraptured me
      I was bewitched

She was a masterpiece drawn with starlight, unfathomable beauty
An ivory sculpture crafted by the hands of a god, masterpiece of Hephaestus
I remember the time I was blessed by that smile,
     A vilified promise

The scent of patchouli and the taste of my favorite tea
Like ambrosia for a mortal, that sweet taste of paradise
Sunflowers and the many other favorites that she gave me
     Stolen without a word

She used to call me late at night to talk about her day
But the days for me got longer, I couldn't keep her entertained
Such a coldness hid underneath the warmth I thought she gave me
     Gone like a ghost in the night

I thought I was breathless because I loved her, now I’m suffocated by the agony
She was killing me underneath the sweetness, constricting like a boa
And when I close my eyes to see the memories lapse she's still in them
     Haunting me like she wanted

Eros' is golden arrows struck me hard and shamelessly
Through my heart and left a scar, chasmic and wide
Her toxic serotonin left me high, addicted to her energy
     A limitless euphoria

I spoke to the gods above and I told them of my love
What a liar she's made me out to be, the clever snake
I begged that Aphrodite let my words reach her
     But they fell on deaf ears

Now I pray that Anteros relieves me and hears my plea
Unravel these feelings in my heart, lift the anchor of her name
Don't let me be the sole carrier of the blame
     For the ruin that remains

Early on, you already knew
That for me, this is the worst way
To lose a person –
Clueless, oblivious,
Unaware.

Hey, don't go disappearing. ​
You swore you wouldn't.
But you left without a warning,
Just like everyone else
who didn't have the guts to explain.

Are we over?
You've been missing for days now.
I'm going to walk away.
Enough, I tell myself.
Enough, I repeat it all over again.

I'm no longer nurturing the flame.
It will take a single breath to blow it out.
I'm leaving.
I'm going.
After this, I'll be gone.

Hey, this is goodbye.
I guess.

in that moment
i don’t seem to mind
i can’t seem to breathe
but my lungs were on fire
As you took me by surprise
Our dreams seem to fade behind
through highways we’ve Passed
with the cold breeze on a saturday night
this memory feels vivid, it’s hard to see
that i’m falling and don’t even see it
you’re enjoying, the chase we’ve created
a secret bubble built in hotel rooms
now, i have been able to breathe
when fire left my lungs
more than a year since
-for the ghost of my february Love