"Don't you want to make it work?"
I asked
Tears in my eyes
Begging you to stay
Clutching your hand
In desperation
My heart quivering
Fearing the answer
You might give

Nothing ever hurt me
As much as you saying
No
You didn't
You were done

The cold swept in
And took me away
Far far
From you
Because next to you
I was getting
Frost bite

No longer smitten
Just ******
And frost bitten

I just wanna say *******.
But I still love you.
You shouldn't have touched me.
Look what you've done to me...
Ever I now ever gonna be happy?
You were already broken...
But you didn't have to break me...
Now I play the game safely..
And never feel too closely.
I walk away too fast
Because I'm hurt from my past.
I want something to last...
But my heart isn't healed from the ****...
I'd love to burn your memory to ash...
And say *******...
But **** WHY DO I STILL LOVE YOU!

pity me

i have never felt so lonesome in a crowded room
we all know you didn't come here to see me
pity
pity
pity
is the only reason you glance my way

the girl with the difficult past
sits
alone
what a stereotype

stop pretending you mean it
and that
you
care
what a stereotype

you only want to talk to me
so you can be the one to push back the curtain
and
finally
reveal the wizard

such a shame
that i'm a ******* goddess

Two Syllables.
Two Letters.
One Heart.
But in two pieces.

Two People.
Two Lives.
One Connection.
But severed.

You praised my heart and helping hand
And for the longest time I could not understand
How any of that could make me special
Until you used those words to describe her
And how perfect she is.

And that is the paragraph on how you broke my heart for the first time ever.

But even in my darkest hour, my darkest day
Your doings could not take my humor away.
I am more than what you did to me,
I am more than what you made me feel.

Even when you broke my heart
I could not be mean enough to try and tear you apart.
I cried so many tears,
But for the next few years
I wished you only the best.

Even after you left that gaping hole
Right there in the very centre of my soul,
I could not hate you, never hate you
Because I loved you, always loved you
Beyond your kind heart and helping hands
Your everlasting patience and my high demands
You understood me like no one else had ever done
You listened to me when I was undone
You cared for me when I broke down
And then you took my heart, my very crown.

You broke my heart, my spirit, my pride
But the one thing you could never take from me is my reflex to fight
I'll fight your impact, your demeanour, what you made me feel
I'll reclaim what you took me from me and reveal
Once and for all what I know to be my greatest strength
My love for myself. And that can really
For real
Unlike you
And what I once allowed myself to feel for you
Last the entire length.

Cradling and pacifying,
A gift for enabling narcissism,
Wiping tears and standing strong
Even as the bellows break my spirit.

Never rising
Without repercussions,
Manipulations and invalidations,
Demands for constant zombification.

Fingers inching for cherished blades
Obedience taste bitter.
I should have learned to be docile,
To know when to wither.

Instead I was born with poison
Pumping through my veins,
Chaos in my brain,
And wear wrath as a crown.

You managed to get me to stop waiting

How does it feel

Did it feel great

As I succumb into madness

As you plunge a blade deeper into my heart

With only a few sets of words

I have gone mad

I was pushed into somewhere I didn’t want to be
I had no where to go but in there
There where it was nothing but shadows,
The screams of terror were silent to ones who could hear
The tears of the pain were the happiness of ones face
The scars on their arms were teased
The hand that wrote that beautiful song and brought joy into people
Were the same ones that held that blade in sadness
And you shook it


I was lost with
No heart
No emotion
No care
Not even love
Crying because I thought there was something to be
You meant everything to me
You knew that
You knew that I cared
And you let me go

You put me though something I didn’t even know existed
You like playing games
Games that leave me with nothing but pain and sadness
I hate you
But I love you
I don’t want anything to do with you
But I want you to come back
You coming back would make me happy
But you don’t care

I’ve spent days at a time thinking about you
And the type of love you give to people
You make me sick
And I will never respect you
But I still love you somehow

You left me once
It was still kind of warm
At least for being the middle of October
My tears couldn't save me
No amount of begging
No matter how many times I said I loved you
Or I was sorry
You still left
Wouldn't even open the door for me
As I stood there
Fresh out of tears
With a box of birthday presents
For you

You were home
Just wouldn't open the door
I had no choice
But to leave
I didn't want to
But you made me
You made me leave that night
By shutting me out
I gave you everything
And you left me
You ******* left me

But now you want me back
You say you still love me
It's killing you
You don't even know what to say
Well I do
*******
Because you left me
That warm night in October
And even though
You left me
I never stopped loving you
I tried, but...
I couldn't
Even though you left me