It's hard to breathe when all your regrets are bouncing in your chest
that hollowness
and the never-ending echo that vibrates throughout my entire body

Have I made a mistake?

All the connecting, glowing, and seemingly sweet certainties have faded

I stand here stricken
My accomplishments in hand
And crumbling

Pieces of the last few years forming into an outline of your face

My fingertips pulsate with warmth as i recall your touch

I've never felt anything
Anyone
So perfect

So smooth and soft and unreal

Moments like these never last, do they?

We were so tired and yet so eager
To intertwine

Fixated on deep breathing
The flavours of eachother's mouths
And the momentary synchronisation of our existences

You're always so busy

And i'm always leaving

It hurts to entertain the idea
Beyond temporariness
But i can't help myself

I know you told me to say it less and yet
I am still sorry

I will always wish for a chance to get to know you
And for that I am not sorry

For once

please don't use my lips to forget about hers
if my hips are thicker and legs smoother  I hope you don't find yourself craving faded memories
I won't let her scars scare me away if you promise to stay when my tears fall needlessly
and God I'd love to say we found each other easily & unscathed
but my bruises are still purple and sometimes I wonder how he is
please believe me when I say he never made me laugh the way you do and I know you only want me on your passenger side
we have loved before but never like this

There are fires raging inside me
Flames so fierce and abundant
Mistaken for warmth
By you
Yet so eager to burn
Your fingertips
As you reach into my soul with every
Glance in my direction
Every utterance
And every breath you take

I am not golden
I do not mold and melt
Under the pressures
Of your condescending gaze
The etching on my naked body
Pay tribute to the electricity
Running through my veins

What you see as a natural disaster
Is but a natural wonder to another
My fury floods
My passion flows
But enough about the me that you didn't --
Bother to get to know

I am not a force to be reckoned with
The coals of my pain are everlasting
Full of the cracks and abrasions
Of acquaintance's past
I am volcanic
And not afraid of harming you

overused and undervalued
so predictable
practically mechanical
the seemingly fitting overature
to each new leaf
of the vines and flora that populate my heart
the emotions that bud and bloom
at the beginning of each soft
bright
and most certain alive
glimpse of a new beginning


with these words
i built a bridge towards you
closer and closer
enveloping  as a structure
composed with care
decorated with consideration
and endless admiration for you


i am terrified
utterly petrified
that i have built a bridge to oblivion
the destination nonexistent
and the reciprocation void

Sink into the
softest bits of my
skin

Let me bottle
the scent of
your t-shirt
after you have
held onto me

Let me be the
gentle waves
that rock you to sleep

(A simple love)

like fleshy flowers you arose,
cellular and beautifully composed.

I am utterly transfixed
that across this span of dust
mixed with an impossible amount of energy
and chemical compositions
the coffee stains on the corners
of those books in my bag
filled with words of dead men
that did not know me
or love me
like you did
how did I get so lucky
to breathe in the same atmosphere as you
for, if only briefly
in simultaneously
beautifully synchronized in our existence