To believe you hope and dream

           But to know you cry and die

For fantasy is beauty and reality is cruelty

I can’t get you out of my head.
even though your eyes,
have already told me the truth.
yet part of my being still screams;
you are the one.

why do you hate me so much?
and why can’t I amend the past,
when all I ever wanted was you-
and the future I’ve dreamed of
so many times before.

it’s maddening,
to dream of you when I know
you dream not of me.

we share no glances,
no conversations, and such
just the occasional pass-by
and the longing I slip out of my mouth,
along with the scorn you say back.

i hate it. i hate you
yet here I am, thinking about you
please just rid the future in my mind,
and stay in the past where you belong.

ease the pain of my present being.
and let me free from the chains I built.

I'm in a different universe with you
A place without unspeakable truth
Not so afraid. Not so paranoid. 
bathed in an aura of confidence that seems to comes from nowhere.
The one constant good thing in life
That has always been there even when you were gone
Standing right beside me
A spectre that sees the good in you
no matter what
and never judges
While holding a painting of a silhouette
Hidden by a reflection of the moon on a peaceful lake
Surrounded by a lush of never before seen flora
Reminding you...
You can hear the stars burning
When the moon and the sun live in the same skies
One last time
Light and shadow etched deep into your mind
As the stars fell from the heavens
And landed upon the sacred earth
To dance once again
In the fields of dead grass
While the wind whispers happy memories
In a long lost tongue.
playing as children on distant shores
Near an unbroken sea of clear glass
There were two stars burning with unquestionable resolve
Nothing can stand in this celestial wake,
gleaming in the eyes of tomorrow
Gazing into the past
in an immolation turning regret to ash
Until rescinded back to the void from which they came
And all you did was exist.
Thank you for all you have done
And more so for all things you didn't.
You are always here
Even when you are gone.

My mind is a shimmering blade singing with starlight
Forged in a white cloud passing through the sky,
in the light of the moon
Constant and ever changing
Yet lays at rest in a small Shinto shrine deep in the woods
waiting to cut.
My heart is the shadow dancing around in silence during a deep contemplation
With butterflies and rare flowers blowing in the chill wind under the moonlit night
Near an ancient waterfall that whispers your name.
We are not alone in this
Everyone who has a hole in something they cared for has left
holy writs branded and disfiguring the face of tomorrow
Lost in a room full of shattered mirrors
Desperately swimming in a bladed sea for the picture
Only to see a reflection in the pool of blood you made for yourself,
out of yourself,
and your life
...and everyone else's.
Heaven became what you made it.

A white cloud...lost in the wind...
Forever at peace
Flowing waters under the most beautiful sunrise
in a place that lives deep inside
the love you just happen to hold
most dear.
The angels singing when you look at someone's face
A smiling nothingness
That has always been
And will never be.
both human
And divine

And when I put the pieces together the picture was
Unacceptable.
I saw the beloved and the tales said
Behind broken doors with forked tongue.
My logic could not bare justice.
And when the broken love stood high on its deus.
It's pedestal was wrought of expectations

The ministry our heart
The belonging our sight
The story we told
Was choking on light
When we sat in silence
The world became here
I saw you afar
the reality was near