I sit in bed, wondering
how life is quite bittersweet.
Yet we always keep wanting
to live a little longer,
despite of it all.

I sit in bed, thinking
how in every millisecond
we decide to still take
a deep breath,
despite of it all

I sit in bed, contemplating
why we have this desire
to live, to exist, to experience,
despite of it all.

I sit in bed, writing
on my laptop
haphazardly positioned
between two pillows,
legs crossed,
that i still decide
to let the words flow.

I look far beyond the distance of my room,
contemplating, then realizing,
how life should not be always perfect,
(just like this poem)
but I am still here, typing,
for the hope of it all.

my biggest dream is to simply be
to exist in a world that does not bound me
to occupy spaces, to be free

my biggest dream is to simply be
to experience the land and sea
to breathe, to live without worry

my biggest dream is to simply be
to love the people dear to me
and even those that hurt thee

I am just floating

around and almost ready --


to wake up slowly.

in the middle of seeing islands of fog
the roots disconnected fom the branches of thought
was it like this: you do not deserve to be
the vitality of forms, do not exist
we were told while breathing
do not exist in your bodies do not exist in your minds some dreams are just silly
dumb as that daylight
throats are full of words of unshed thinking
of noise so loud that the world might have imploded
dark circles of impossible pain contain our ribs
why are you here you were told, we don't want you
we  can not witness the joy of life with our teeth full of something we don't understand
our eyes are holding the light captive
like a knife full of strife
why are we here why
the fog obscures the echo
why are we here why

my biggest fear is to forget
forget how my lips stretched into a smile
forget how my comments made you giggle when you were raining tears
my biggest fear is to be forgotten
like the shoes that carried you 100km or the eldest daughter
my biggest fear is too common
just like me, riding the waves of insecurity
peace is a breath away but so is shame
the only thing unforgotten in my brain
the way it stitches my situation
the way it feeds the roaring flame
my footprints in the sand are destined to wash away
my biggest fear is to exist without a trace

Staring at gravestones
Wondering what it is to
Exist, no longer.
Smell of sulfur,
Feel of bone;
Still as water.

The riches we have

are limited, we want more --


attention, on call.

head, body, and tail
for every dark entry
there is an exit.

I exist! Me too!

And I! Here! I exist here! --


And I? Who hears me?

Listen to me, as half as I am
Talk to me, talk about me
to your loved ones, to your friends
Talk!
about my big eyes, my crazy dreams
And I, what I want, is lots of things
to tell you, to touch you
Yeah, that's it

.....Here, this is who I am
.....Here I stand, naked in front of you, yes
.....I am afraid
.....Here I stand, silent in the fuss

Look at me, look at least
to what's left of me
Look at me, before I hate myself
What can I tell you that
no one else would tell you?
Just a few things, but
it's me, who I am, I offer you all
I have, here you go

.....Here, this is who I am
.....as naked as I stand here
.....there is nothing more
.....This is my mouth, my cry
.....okay, this is me
.....Here, here, here I am I
.....my dreams, my desires
.....the way I expose myself, the way I smile
.....Here I stand, silent in the fuss

Don't leave, please, stay for a long time
even if it won't save me, no
but without you I don't know how
Love me like you love a friend
who is leaving forever
I want you to love me
because I don't know that well
how I should love my half me

.....Here, this is who I am
.....as naked as I stand here
.....there is nothing more
.....Here I stand in the fuss and in the storm
.....Please look at me
.....to my eyes and my hands
.....This is all I have to offer
.....my mouth, my cry
.....Here I am, here I am, here
.....here, here
.....here, here