I don't know what I did wrong.
Don't yell at anyone for something "I did".
I hope your happy with yourself.
Tearing people apart.
Hurting the ones that care about you.
Turn people I care about against me.
Turning my friends against me.
I hope you are happy.
I hope you make Erica happy.
I hope she knows about how bad of a person you are.
Biting your tongue.
Clenching your fist.
Smoking your ****.
Crushing your pills.
Spreading your lies.
Devil's tongue.
You're a sociopath, I believe.
You can get anyone to believe your twisted lies.
I even got down on my knees for you.
How pathetic was that?
I don't even like you as a romantic or a ****** partner.
My lips touched yours.
I touched the devil's lips.
I felt the devil's warm embrace.
I guess he is called the devil for a reason.

There is only 30 minutes to get this right
She sets the paper down in front of me
Inhale then exhale I tell myself
I look over the test it is all multiple choice
My least favorite kind
My heart starts beating faster at this
Inhale then exhale I tell myself
I try to circle in as many of the right answers in the next 20 minutes
I can do this!
Just Inhale then exhale I tell myself
Oh no! Everything is starting to go blank now
It feels like all the knowledge is starting to slowly seep out my brain and leak from my ears
I sit tight and close my eyes
Inhale and exhale
The questions do not make sense anymore
Is it B or D
I erase my original answer and began to second guess myself
The pencil shakes in my hand
Inhale and Exhale
I give my eyes a quick rub and read the questions one more
No that's not right Its D not B
I Inhale--
Time's up!

pillows of wind, freezing the minuet dew drops on each blade of grass,
tiny ice goblets
dutifully every morning.

it whistles, slipping between
the barren trees,
curling around the crumbling houses
built in the '70s
a time when,
they may have kept us sheltered from Mother Nature's ghastly wrath.  

whispering against the window panes, creeping past the glass frames.
icy hands claw their way across the floor, up the bed posts
beneath the sheets.  

gliding cold fingers up my legs,
down my spine. wrapping themselves around my neck,
the fire in my eyes has died.
sweet release, a gradual fading light.

my heartbeat slows,
though inches away,
warm & unaware you lie.
boney tendrils squeezing
as I drift to my glacial demise.

Unlike all the general stereotypes,
Unlike the degrading things people say,
There's an extraordinarily amazing continent
Filled with aesthetically pleasing beauty,
And music making the laziest of people dance.
Bright and bubbly, giving us energy.
People here use their bodies
To express themselves where words fail.
Incredibly fascinating movements for hours on end,
That interest people who would otherwise be endlessly bored.

i haven't met someone who made me want
to write so badly
in a long, long time

this morning i woke
the same way you did
lonely never
in a box i have made my home

you go by with your day like you always do
holding onto what is innocent
and smiling sweetly at those who pass by
you don't say hi unless they do
you timidity is showing, dear
it's so awkward on me
but endearing on you

we both are fragile extension lines
on the streets
that taper and adjust
to whatever the winds may bring

this night you wore a sweater
and i stayed up a little later only to see
if the off chance of you stopping by
would stop by

it's a quarter past
Cinderella losing her glass slipper
and my priorities are exponential
yet all the encompasses my mind
is your kindness
and how it glows in the dark

i hunger for answers
although we both may be soft-spoken
i wouldn't mind the screaming
as long as it had meaning
as long as it mended to the broken

but you are older
and wiser and smarter
and more experienced
than my little heart is

still i ask, where would this take us if it could?

i ask God to hear me breathing
to hear my singing
and wondering

if i am breathing, there is no time to waste
if i am singing, then i am on my way
to something beautiful and grand and new
and if it is in His plan, then it will be you

all this is simple mush
fluff in its raw form
half of the time i don't even know
exactly what it is i am trying to convey
it isn't something that we have to say
it is silent but it is recognized
for you said it all with your eyes

slowly falling i am
drooping to the middle
and climbing uphill again
until my cup fills again
it won't be half empty for too long

after all,
we both are fragile extension lines
on the streets
that taper and adjust
to whatever the winds may bring

your words hurt me,
your actions break me.

i'm not your friend.
for ***** sake,
i'm not your friend.

you hurt me.
and i'm sorry i cannot
talk to you.

it hurts me
to imagine hurting you.
so i'll stay quiet.
because apparently that's
what i'm best at (remember?)

but my god,
i'm not your *******
friend.

so leave me alone.

If I were to drop out my heart on a platter
and give back what's given to me;
If I were to cry hard but make not a splatter,
what's there left for to see?

Emotions are made for the playing of heartstrings
and picking of sentiments true;
But if we were bigger and grander with love-things,
wouldn't we be happier too?

Minds are the makers of falsehoods and lying
and pressing the lighting of thoughts;
But pulling the curtain on Fate's newen'd vying
could overturn many famed lots.

So treasure the ringed things that protect your heart
and plastic the lives that you own;
For living is telling, and telling, an art
that helps us to thrive and to grow.

And I still think about you sitting pretty in that skin ******* shirt
The one with the holes in it, reminiscent of the holes in my skin
Reveal my boiling blood work and fragile spine
Eyes glued to the floor wondering what it would be like to be called 'mine'
and you're there on the couch wrapped up in deep brown talking **** to the pretty girl next to you
And I'm over here on my own knowing better than to try to make a move
When you're already preoccupied with someone else
I know I'm better by myself
Now it's nearly two months out and I'm watching you on a tiny screen in my room
Long limbs draped artfully over a guitar feet dangling in the pool tattoos indistinguishable in the evening gloom
And I wonder what it's like in your world
I wonder what it's like in your head
If it's raining or snowing or if you're choking on what you should have said
So now I'm slightly intoxicated on my back in my sheets
Praying for some sign of rain or some subtle relief
From switch screen wanting I don't even want any of you
I don't know you I don't trust you I don't know what you do
I know an idea
better left by itself
Better left alone so I can be by myself
Not for anyone else
Just me in my own skin
And you're a casualty of my sober vivid mind
An empty grave I don't want to find
An ocean packed with a thousand words better left unsaid
A persistent reminder of the emptiness of my bed
And in my dreams I'll move closer to you
I'll take hold of your calloused hand
But as I wake I know I'll run far from you
Because I'll never belong to any man
And hey I could be the tattoo on your left arm
Wrapped tight around your bones
Hey I could be the ice in your glass
But you will never be my home
No I'd rather be alone