Dear Tristan,

          They see good in you,
          But you know it's not there

One, two, three, four,
I remember life before.
Five, six, seven, eight,
I'm not someone to agitate.
One, two, three, four,
Bring him to me, shut the door,
Five, six, seven eight,
Only death will liberate.
One, two, three, four,
Born to live in times of war.
Five, six, seven, eight,
I was made to mutilate.
One, two, three, four,
Vile and evil at my core.
Five, six, seven, eight,
I need screams to meditate.

One, two, three,
Beneath the tree,
Beg forgiveness, your final plea.
Four, five, six,
Breaking the sticks,
Pray to your broken crucifix.
Seven, eight,
Escape your fate,
I'm following you through the gate.
Nine and nine,
The stars align,
Ripping out your ******* spine.

One, two, two, three,
Counting down to killing me.
four, five, five, six,
Rowing down the River Styx.
Seven, eight, eight, nine,
These emotions aren't mine,
ten, ten, ten, ten,
Die to see the light again.

Found the quarters for the laundry
Counted them by loads

We have enough for eight

You picked me up and counted me by mistakes
I weighed a ton but we carried it together after we exchanged numbers

I did the laundry
And week after week
Again and again until we had enough quarters for one last load
And I washed the bed sheets
Figured we could take all our ***** clothes off and lie in the clean there
Because it's nice to have a clean house

We have a clean house
When I can't sleep I scrub the tiles
Until they're bright like the rising sun reminding me
I should have been sleeping
It's okay though
You're asleep and can't tell you're alone
I ask myself while making coffee
If you know
I've got bags underneath my eyes
And the floor is cleaner and cleaner every passing night
And the smell of bleach resonates off the square white tiles
You continue to wake and just smile
Smile
Just smile
Look at me
And smile
Like the world is smooth
And runs on smiles
My insides mock fire
"Are you tired?"
"No I'm just wired,
drank too much coffee
I'm not tired."
You know
And I know you know
I guess you're happy with the clean floors and extra space in the bed
so you don't have to worry about rolling over at night or kicking me

"I have someone else, but I love you."
     ---
            "I love you, but I have someone else."

heres is the story of
Bad boy Bill...
..with slight of hand
he had the plate
with eight pieces
of skate
which he quickly ate
not that he was
a deadweight
he did share
with a mate
before he did
donate the *****
plate to the nearest
gutter grate
he was a pick pocket
that he could not debate
he had given going straight
a trial but could not cognate
the traits of the cheapskate
state that gave him too many
gates to open only to end up
at the same old checkmate
so after beating his breastplate
he went on the lam
lashed out against
the ingrate magnates
and after a spate
of flyweight burglaries
he now awaits
as a sometimes
somnambulate inmate
at the pleasure
of the  abrogate state
in a room slightly
larger that a crate
with a surly
burly bedmate.
they who dictate
think he will be
down for at least eight
he was at this news
discombobulatedly
disconsulate
But that is the fate
of those who hesitate
to choose bad over good
and manipulate the laws
of the land.

A mood hasten the dew
here that could beat sadness
with a line in its circumference
that joins like a tangent yet
might appear like an axis
but profane as new moon
that sometimes was shone there
discreetly above the equator
and dIrectly by supreme
known its horizon forever now
when blue skies are subterfuge
if only irony doubt here
this dissonant antipathy reign
today jive in rhyme again.

I think eight is my lucky number
eight lies all within eight months
or maybe eight is my unlucky number
it feels like I've been surrounded by your negativity for eight straight years
being around you was like playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun
if I made one wrong move or said one wrong word it would trigger you to **** us both
I had to tip toe around the sleeping monster for years  
for years I had to fake so many smiles to please you
all your problems were also my problems if you got knocked down the next thing I knew I was right beside you
it seems like I was bleeding more than you it's like I was a bruise that never seemed to fade
one day I knew I was done with these games I knew I had to take control of the gun and wake the monster
it's like I unleashed a herd of buffalos because who knew I wanted to be my own person
you would have thought you were a magician pulling all your tricks on me to try and win me over
you played nice and showered me with empty apologies
then you turned cold and let the ice freeze over your heart
you threw hateful words in my direction trying to hit me with every sharp dagger
you played *****, tossing rocks at my window when all I wanted was a break
you would have thought that I would have broke under all the pressure you put on me over these years
even though it seems I'm free of your deadly habits I sometimes still feel a tight pull in my chest of all your lies your fed to me trying to take over me
never would I think that eight months  later I'm still afraid to turn corners because I think you might be there