I was staring at my footsteps today
And I remembered how small my feet are
Maybe that's why you didn't stick around
Because his imprint was bigger than mine

I told myself I was being silly
I walked the other way

Then I thought of how you always dreamed of being covered in tattoos
And I thought of all the conclusions I had drawn for you
It made no sense to me why you'd leave
For he hadn't drawn one blueprint for your tattoos

I stepped toward where I stood before

You hadn't been around for months
You hadn't seen my latest paintings
Or tasted the Indian stir fry noodles I slaved over---

I took another step

You hadn't seen how my hair had grown
Before I trimmed my ends---

I took another step

You didn't know how in love I was
or what my plans were for the next week---

I took another step

That I plan to go out of the country this summer---

I took another step

I found myself at your door

I remember how twisted I felt knocking with ****** knuckles on your door
Trying to talk to you but
You don't call me anymore

I walked away from your door

She served him red ripe cherry pie at dawn,
Oven warm,
With a skimp of cheddar cheese,
Curled up and asleep on the side of the plate.

He captured the first whiff while strutting through  
The maze,
Of a last minute dream.
On stage, lead guitar, **** Jagger, Brown Sugar.

She held a fork full of promise near his nose,
And smiled.
He woke humming, strumming, *****, and confused.
What more pleasure could desire be.

life is rich with chance to risk
with wonder and supposing
not to live and love in cliche
please stand clear doors closing

It was like the western movie kind of doors.
The kind that would swing back and forth
in a slow creaky kind of way.
The door lead into my kitchen from the living room.
I could tell when mom was angry
because she would use the doors
as a release.
I would watch her bust through them
and then lean against a counter
with her back facing me.
Whenever the subtle creaking noise subsided
from the back and forth motion,
she somehow always found a way
to gain her composure.
Like clockwork.

Except
the one time
that
to this day,
leaves an unsettling
motion of
helplessness.

Back and Forth.

What do you see when you're looking back at me?
A smile so personified
You're unaware you've been deceived

But if you look deep into my eyes
You'll catch a cloudy undertone
A sadness that you'd never guess
Is mixed with the grandest rage you'll ever know

The mask we wear acts as a filter
To shield others from the truth
But the most jovial of my days
Were lost way back in my youth

The smile, a reminder
Of days from long ago
No longer any relevance
****** into the undertow

Inside the belly of a whale
My life ended, as a meal?!
Let's take a look back on it now
And all that it entailed

To quote the great Captain Ahab
"Thar she blow"!
Or the Doors' Jim Morrison, who said "This is the strangest life I've ever known"

To send away the demons
You must cast the first stone
But be sure to have a witness
Never try it while alone

This ensures your safety
Keep your distance from the scene
Maybe you'll wake tomorrow
And it will all have been a dream

Be sure to check all of your limbs
Try remaining in one whole piece
Compelling as this may seem
Still no need to call a priest

Nor the admiral of the Navy
Or our commander in chief
They'd just as soon have you locked away
Right after they've been briefed

Thrown inside the dungeon
Tossing away the keys
Oh, you'll have your day in court
With a story that not a soul believes

Instead just hold your head down
Walk away, sight unseen
Accept it as a learning tool
Claim you were only being green

The curiosity of a cat
Landed you inside the belly of the beast
And if you hadn't thought quickly on your feet
You'd have been a savory feast

However unbelievable
This somehow is the truth
Not just another fairytale
But be sure to have some proof

Something from your journey
Something visible and real
Unfold it like an onion
Shed a tear with every peel

Help to remove every layer
Until you reach its core
No more self discovery
For you to explore

Just misguided youth
Pent up energy in spades
Clear of all transgressions
That caused you to disengage

Fall back on your laurels
Wash away the mange
Look over the horizon
Start fresh and turn the page

Reread every chapter
With the knowledge you now hold
Except this time around
Try doing what you're told

You'll be shocked by what you see
No more cloudy haze
No more hiding behind masks
Only clarity for days.

You: a girl in high heels, a black shirt, and a light blue shirt. Your hair dark, your lips Taylor Swift red.

Me: a guy in a monster squad t shirt and a denim jacket. Brown hair, likely tosseled from the rain earlier in the day.

We both looked at the showtimes posted for the local arthouse theater. I crossed the street and you followed. We both entered the mall. I held the door open for you. You said thank you.  You held the next door open for me.  I said thank you and smiled. You smiled back. My heart melted. I sat my things down at a table as you rounded a corner. I decided to follow you to ask if you wanted to sit and have a drink with me. As I walked around the corner you were already gone.