Fighting in the kitchen
Fighting behind closed doors
Screaming matches they won’t even hide
Threats of leaving
Who knows who said it first?
They were never happy,
So we weren’t either.

Then they split
Split months,
Split holidays,
Split lives
Two houses
Two parents
Two versions of me
Two influences in my head
Telling me who to blame
Who to trust.

I became a peacekeeper,
Messenger, translator,
Or liar

Clothes kept in bags
Packing up pieces of my life every week
Moving back and forth,
But I’m stuck in between
Just me,
Pretending I’m okay-
Trying to stay whole

I’m like this because of them.
So much was happening.
I had no one.
I couldn’t talk.
I couldn’t share.
It’s too late now.
They’re there but it doesn’t help,
I’m too far gone.

It makes me dream for something
But now I don’t know if it’s possible
I just want love
And happiness,
A perfect family
What is it like to feel whole?
What is it like to not have a broken family?

Six weeks from now everything changes.
Leaving family and friends, colleagues and neighbours.
No more car or address, speaking native to strangers.
Just me, two bags, and thoughts as a burden.
I step into the dreams that I dreamt for so long.

— — —

Travel has always soothed my mind.
Backseat, between my brothers.
I look outside and explain it all:
That road heads north, look there’s fish to catch!
It doesn’t matter where I go, inspiration everywhere.

— — —

The divorce doesn’t matter, mom and dad seem happy.
Twice the vacations! Twice the presents!
Never talk about the other house, pretend and please.
It’s just a secret. A trade for love.
I lie well. Kids do.

— — —

When I grow up I will see it all, no secret can hide from me!
I am independent, I don’t need your help.
Who do you think you are for even offering it to me?
I’m smarter than you, I will find my way.
There’s nothing I shouldn’t be able to reach on my own.

— — —

We are doing great on our own, don’t notice the mess.
We don’t want a family, can’t you imagine the stress?
No one understands the way we think, how we feel.
Why even try connecting if it’s not meant to be?
We know the stories. We tell them. We believe them.
Isn’t that enough?

There’s no need to run, is there?
Look how well you’ve been doing!
Don’t ruin it chasing what you’ll never keep!
Are you sure? Not just impulse again?
Is it really necessary?

— — —

Bless you for all that you’ve done for me.
I wish you’d leave now, it’s time, but I’m sure you’ll stay.
Tell me all the lies I used to love.
Where’s the doubt and shame?
Show me if you are still able to be creative.

It seems easy now, a simple life.
Would I have even gotten here, if it wasn’t for you?
Tickets booked, goodbyes planned.
Or maybe everything has already changed.

Part of me wants to give up.
Part of me wants to stay and fight.
What would I be fighting for?
Us? Our family? Or To continue to being hurt ?

I express my feelings.
I felt ignored.

We’re married.
We’re suppose be a team.
Wheres the support?

I feel alone.
Your never there.
I needed you.
You still weren’t there.

At times maybe you were physically there but mentally not.
You didn’t see my pain.
When I needed you to be my rock.

You didn’t see my pain.
When you hurt me.
I didn’t see the damage it caused me.

The flashbacks.
The anger.
The fainting.
The triggers.
The assumptions.

I asked you to stop.
I told you I would leave.
You didn’t listen.

Your too busy on your phone.
Searching all these woman.
They were more important to you.
You started losing me.

Now here we are.
On the border of divorce.

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I need truth & light,
not lies & fights.
Emotional security,
not shame &  anxiety.
I need love that’s true.
Sometimes ‘Hello Me’
is pronounced ‘Goodbye You.’

Not every promise is golden.
Sometimes, vows need to be broken.
Leaving was brave,
given how you behaved.
Not every ending is unhappy.
Sometimes ‘Goodbye You’
means ‘Hello Me.’

I’d rather be single
than a married martyr.
I’d rather laugh & mingle
than keep on trying harder.
I need something new.
Sometimes ‘Hello Me’
is pronounced ‘Goodbye You.’

I choose my mental health
over double-income wealth
Wellness over weakness,
happiness over secrets,
freedom over familiarity.
Sometimes ‘Goodbye You’
means ‘Hello Me.’

© 2025 SincerelyJoanWrites. All rights reserved.

Good day to everyone who is reading my testimony, I am Brittany Hanny from Washington USA, presently Living In Canada, I am here to testify the goodness of the great Male spell caster called Dr Mudi, for helping me to capture the heart of my man back to me, since he broke up with me, Life has not been easy for me to Live with, No happiness and joy, was all sad all through and feel rejected by the world, because anyone who I loved always brought an heart ache to me, I pleaded him so that we can come back again but he said no, I was so confused and does not know how to go with it, Until one special and glorious day, after reading about wonderful works which Dr Mudi has done for many other people, I decided to Contact and after contacting her, She told me what to do, I send the money to her to buy the requested materials, after 24 hours she mailed me back and said she is through with the spell and my lover is going to come back to me after three days, I was so happy and I believed in her words. To my own greatest surprise My Love came back to me apologies to me and Promise to Love me forever all times in all his endeavors and promise never to let me down anymore. I am so happy today because Dr has done the greatest for me and make me a proud woman of myself too, If you are in Need of a Real Spell Caster to help you also to bring your partner, Loved Ones back to you, I will advise you not to be afraid anymore, all your pains are over if only you contact Dr Mudi Via her email address drmudispellhomes@yahoo.com whatsApp him on this +2348169224726 or drnudispellhomeblogspot.com and also visit her websites here with the Link below www.mudiblogspot.com

Your family hates me for leaving you
They don’t know
I would have died had I stayed
Even a cactus can die of thirst

© 2025 SincerelyJoanWrites. All rights reserved.