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Anonymous Freak Apr 2019
Come
Let me show you
What it is to be inside
My body.

Experience having hot blood
Rush to the back of my neck
And color my cheeks
When burning anger and shame.

Feel the tattoos
Carefully grown in my hours of darkness
Seeds of ink
Planted
And coaxed to the surface.

Feel the balmy spring afternoon
Bring shining droplets if sweat
To my forehead.
Let me write my body around you.

Breathe the harsh toxic fear
And feel it in my lungs.
Fill my nose with the smell
Of green growth
Before the sunrise.

Feel what I feel.

Live inside my skin with me.

Because I don’t know how else
To explain myself to you.
Maria Etre Mar 2019
I have come to accept
that a writer who
creates on paper
is not the same person
who walks on Earth
Nicole Jan 2019
An electrical fence
Lines the inside of my body
Within it I can feel
The semblance of emotions
As they throw themselves
Furiously against the wires
Electric tremors flare through my limbs
Waves of whispered feelings
Tear through my muscles
Begging and screaming for me
To let them live and breathe freely
But my mind tells me not to
It says I can't trust my feelings
And if I am not my emotions
Then I can still trust myself
I'm told that feeling is dangerous
That it hurts other people more
Than not feeling hurts me
And how can I argue with that?
But the feelings keep screaming
They keep scratching at the floor and
Infuriating their essence with electricity
Please just let me be
Please just set me free
I'm suffocating under the pressure
Ripping apart from this tug of war
My brain promises that I'm fine
My feelings say that's a lie
All I know is that I'm tired
I just want a break
I can't fight like this forever
And it's not just me
While I'm exhausted and in pain
Those around me don't see
They think this is just me
But I can't connect to them
With my emotions behind bars
Theres no room for empathy
No room for intimacy
I am alone
Yet I can't feel lonely
What a well-oiled machine
This human without feelings
Due to trauma, I have developed a coping mechanism to shut down my emotions. This is not longer helpful and it hurts me. I'm learning to break it down and let myself feel, but it takes time and until then this is how it feels.
growingpains Jan 2019
you were the best thing that could have happened to me in the most horrible ways and,
the end of us was fruitful in lessons,
showing me that my vulnerability should manifest itself in moments of weakness and strength.
Losing you was the biggest gain and I thank your apathy for it all.
I wish you the best, it's true
and I hope you find comfort with the troubles that shake you to your core.
blessings in disguise keep on coming my way and i'm starting to unravel their meaning.

Much love,
N.
Andrew Rueter Oct 2017
We find multiple ways to disconnect
Where business and technology intersect
We kick one another for cash
When we need equilibrium for our economy
Our morals disintegrate to ash
And we trade away our autonomy
But we don't dare reflect
Instead we disconnect
We turn people into symbols and numbers
So we can more comfortably slumber
After causing heartbreaking pain
Through bureaucratic chains
Because face to face
Our heart will race
And we'll examine our submerged morals
That lie in the depths with the coral
But our reflection is too much to bear
So we cowardly choose not to care
The only way we can feel ecstatic
Is to turn people into demographics

The Internet connects us
But also satisfies lust
And imitates human contact
Which has a negative impact
The feeling leaves us sated
And we don't feel the need to change
Our armor becomes plated
And we shoot arrows from long range
Because we don't like the idea of being one another
We get used to the idea of not seeing one another
We disconnect so we don't have to try
We disconnect so we can slowly die

The ****** disconnection continues
As we find more violent avenues
We utilize fatal instruments
To ****** without the sense
Of physically feeling
The life we're stealing
We stabbed one another with swords
Until the bullets soared
But we still needed more
So we disconnected further
And became satellite searchers
Studying people through actions
Defining them by faction
We don't have any interest in their personality or flaws
All we're concerned with is if they're breaking the law
The law we wrote to tip the scales
The law that makes us too big to fail

A husband leaves his wife
Disconnecting from her life
She's left with a child
To raise in the wild
Until a drone drops a bomb
On the struggling single mom
She's not an investor
So we'll just harvest her worthless life
Who'll be her protector
When she's near someone we don't like?
We **** her from our computer
That's the way we casually mute her

We carefully cultivated a disconnect
To treat one another like insects
This mentality will infect
Until we interject
Once we finally reflect
Love will connect
Sandman Aug 2018
My synthetic sleep catching up with me.
In the darkest hour
all my past and future selves collect into one.
Falling apart.
Piece by piece.
This artificial world, what ever happened to you?
This insomniac world that never goes to sleep.
How did we get here?
Disconnected people polluting the hallow veins of earth.
We think we are free but we are caged in by our highly technologicaly advanced smart phones.
Through out the existence of mankind we have sought to create tools which would further our abilitys to live easier lives but now we have surrendered to our own creation.
Have we become subjected to empty shells or is there still hope?
Somewhere out there is a future world surging with infinite peace.
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