Its sad to think
That when we drifted apart
It was because you let me go
You stoped thinking about me
You stopped "wasting time"

It is true pain changes people.
But you know what pain also does;
it hurts you,
it breaks you,
it drains you,
it disconnects you from the
people around you at times.

It sometimes makes you feel
like giving up on your life.
But maybe that's just a phase.

Maybe we have to break to heal.
Maybe we have to fall to rise.
Maybe we give up to fight.
Maybe we have to make mistakes to learn.
Maybe we have to tear to be courageous.

Maybe we have to go through chaos to find peace.
Maybe we have to feel weak to be strong.
Maybe we have to get messed up before we step up.
Maybe going down was a part of the plan of rising
up once again better.

Pain brings out the worst,
the best and sometimes
it is just different.
And you get to choose
who you get to cast yourself as.

You get to pick up those pieces
and place them the way you want to be.
Sometimes it isn't bad, it isn't good,
it's just different.
And that's alright.

An electrical fence
Lines the inside of my body
Within it I can feel
The semblance of emotions
As they throw themselves
Furiously against the wires
Electric tremors flare through my limbs
Waves of whispered feelings
Tear through my muscles
Begging and screaming for me
To let them live and breathe freely
But my mind tells me not to
It says I can't trust my feelings
And if I am not my emotions
Then I can still trust myself
I'm told that feeling is dangerous
That it hurts other people more
Than not feeling hurts me
And how can I argue with that?
But the feelings keep screaming
They keep scratching at the floor and
Infuriating their essence with electricity
Please just let me be
Please just set me free
I'm suffocating under the pressure
Ripping apart from this tug of war
My brain promises that I'm fine
My feelings say that's a lie
All I know is that I'm tired
I just want a break
I can't fight like this forever
And it's not just me
While I'm exhausted and in pain
Those around me don't see
They think this is just me
But I can't connect to them
With my emotions behind bars
Theres no room for empathy
No room for intimacy
I am alone
Yet I can't feel lonely
What a well-oiled machine
This human without feelings