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Hey daddy,
can you hear me?
I miss you.
It has been a hard
Two years
without you.
I really miss you.
It is Fathers' Day tomorrow.
I remember the last
Fathers' Day
that you were alive--
I didn't greet you.
We had a fight
and I was the stubborn
selfish child.
I thought I was right.
But now, two years too late
I realize I was not.
I am sorry.
I miss you.
I miss your hearty laugh,
your warm hugs,
I miss you waking me up
by tickling my foot--
I remember being annoyed
when you wake me up that way.
What would I not give
to have you wake me up
again?
I miss you calling me
to eat breakfast
before going to school.
I miss you doing the laundry
even if I am a big girl
already.
I miss you.
I miss the days when you
would drive me to school
and fetch me at 5pm.
Back then I wished you wouldn't
so I could spend more time
with my then-boyfriend.
What would I not give, daddy,
to have you pick me up
from school
once again?
I miss your silly ways
of making noise
during New Year's Eve.
For the past two years daddy,
my New Years were quiet
silent
dead.
Like you.
The last New Year's eve
you were alive,
the New Year's eve
the year before you died
you were drunk
and I welcomed 2013
feeling so lonely
with mom in UAE
and you, on the couch
too passed out to wake up
amidst all the noise.
Somehow, I knew
the next New Years won't be the same
I didn't expect
that it would because
they would be spent without you.
I miss you telling me you love me
and all those kisses
that used to really annoy me.
I miss you.

I am sorry.
For being a failure.
For being a bad daughter.
Sorry if I chose that guy
that *******
over you.
Sorry that I didn't listen.
I thought I was right.
I had so much pride.
What would I not give, daddy,
to have you here right now?
I promise, this time I would choose
you.
I would choose
to listen.
I would choose
to love you.
I would choose
to swallow my pride.
I would choose...

I wish I could turn back time
love you a little better.
I'd go back further than the day you died.
I'd go back to the time
when our family was whole
I would do whatever it takes
to keep it that way.
So that you won't have to be a drunkard
because you have broken your heart.
I'd go back, daddy.
I would go back and fix you if I could.

I am turning 20 in three months now.
Remember your promise to me?
It is two years overdue daddy.
I turned 18 without you.
You promised...
You promised we would dance
with or without a party
you said you wouldn't miss the chance
to dance with me.
I was waiting daddy.
But you never visited me
not even in my dreams.
It has been two years daddy.
I wouldn't mind having a dance at 20.
What would I not give daddy?
What would I not give
to dance with you
one last time...
Like we did when I was 7.
Ironic because
you said not to choose
Dance With My Father
as a song to dance to
with you
because you are not dead yet.
But now you are.
And I miss you so much.

I love you daddy
I am sorry.
Sorry for all the feels. It is Fathers' Day tomorrow. And I missed having my daddy tell me he loves me...
Hey darling
Don't you know I'm a diary?
I keep track of dates
And events
And words spoken
And promises given.
I catalogue them neatly
Inside my heart
And pull them out
Every now and then
"Remember when you said
You will never leave?
Where are you now?"
Just to remind you
And myself
Not all promises
Are realized
Not all words
Are real
Not all significant events
Remain significant.

And not everything I remember
Will remain unforgotten.
You forgot.
You forget all the time.
I wish I could...
Ronjoy Brahma May 2015
आंबो सासे गथ'मोन
जायनि जोनोमा गोरान सिलायाव।
दाउस्रि बासा गाखोनाय एबा थुख्लायनाय
बेरे, गुमा हमनाय नागिरनाय
सेसा नेवलाइ नागिरनाय
दाउ-दाउसिन गावबायनाय
एन्जर जावनाय खुसेंग्रा लुनाय
आंनिबो मोनसे गिदिर हुदामोन।
आंबो सासे गथ'मोन
जायनि जोनोमा उनफिन्नाय बर' गामियाव
गस्ला गोदान मोनब्ला
सान्नै रंजायो आरो
बिजाब गोदान मोनब्ला
सान्नै बोद्लायो
बेयो उन्दै समनि दोहौमोन।
सिलर गोबाथुम गोबाथुम मेँख्ल'-ख्ल'
फरायसालियाव थाङोमोन
खसर-मसर एदावलायोमोन
दुब-दुब दाब-दाब बुलालायोमोन
आमाय-जुमाय थाखोमालायनाय
जल्दं-माल्दं आरो बाथा बुलायनाय
आंबो गेलेयोमोन लोगोफोरजोँ
बायदि गोमो-गोथां आब'मोन-आदा फोरोँनाय।
10/05/2015
Kagami May 2015
A few forgetful moments
And I am littered with paper cuts.
Each tear is a page: a meaning: a reason.

I am encased with quilts and a
Bubbling love, but the chills
And demons find their way through.

I was told
Explicitly
To pull my head out of my ***,
Because struggling with education, depression, and
Harassment
Is inconvenient for others.

I forgot to reline the trash can in the bathroom.

Dear diary,
I almost hurt myself again today. Its been over ten months since I did it last, but you know what a ***** life is.
See ya later!


***** reminds me of rainbows,
And vice-verse.
My stomach is thunder.

I don't have enough tears to make it rain,
But I might **** enough.


What should I do with my life?
I make decisions and
Work my *** off more than any
16 year old I know,
And care for others in any way I can
In hope that they will return the favor when I need it,
But I'm still ignorant and selfish, says she.

Sometimes I wonder which way is up
And right. A nervous tick of mine.
A moody strand of my being.
Trying to connect to reality, but curving...
I need help.
Ronjoy Brahma Apr 2015
इं 2012 मायथाइनि जोबनो दानाव
आयं मेब्लाया रौमारि
गामिनिफ्राय रुंसारि
जालांबाय।
गोब्राब खानो रोङै बेरामानो
आयंनि थैनायनि जाहोन।
गोबां रां गारनानैबो
दाक्टारनाव नायदोँमोन
नांगौबादि मुलि जादोँमोन।
अजाबो हमदोँमोन रां खरसा
खालामनानै।
नाथाय बाराद्राय हामनो रोङै
बादि जानानै
2012 मायथायाव रुंसारि जालांबाय।
आं दिनै गोसो खांदों आयंखौ
बेयोदि आंखौ उन्दै समाव
बेसे बेयो जंखायोमोन।
बाराद्राय गोसोखांनायनि जाउनावनो
आयं मेब्लानि सावगारि
एरखांना दोननो लानाय
जाबाय।
आयंआ आंनि गामि रौमारिनि
गागिथार सासेमोन।
आं गोसो खांदोँ उन्दैनि
जेब्ला आं उन्दैमोन।
आयंआ आंखौ जंखायोमोन
'मासुमला' होननानै।
(आनै) जान'खि होननाय सासे
रान्दि दंमोन
बिहा सासे फिसाजौ लोगोआव
दंमोन।
आयंआ सम सम लामायाव नुब्ला
आंखौ
'जोँनो नांगौ फ्रेजिलेन फ्रेजिनेन'
होनना बुङोमोन।
बे समाव बर'फोरनि
गोब्राब आलादा हादोद
सोमावसारनि समा
थाद' हांबायमोन।
बेनिनो साया बे जंखायनाय
रावआ।
आनै जान'खिनि फिसाजौआ
प्रेजि मुंनिमोन।
आं नाथाय बे समाव बाराद्राय
रागा जोँफ्लाङोमोन।
एखमबा अन्थाइजोँ खुबैना
होयोमोन।
उन्दै समाव आयंआ
बाराद्रा जंखायोमोन।
बियो बांसिन जंखायोमोन जेब्ला
आं
न'आवनि मोसौखौ गामिनि
साहा थानाय
फोथाराव खानो लामायाव
फैयो होयोमोन।
बे समाव आयंआ लामायाव थाना
जंखायोमोन।
आयंआ थैनाय सानखालि आं
गामियाव गैयामोन।
बे समाव आं बंङाइगामिनि
लजिँआवनो दंमोन।
आयंनि हरखाब रुंसार जानाय
समाव
बिखा खायसिब आं खौरांखौ
मोनदोँमोन।
आरो फारि फारि आयं उन्दै
समाव आंखौ जंखायनाय
रावफोरानो
गोसोआव हरखाब बोहैबोदोँमोन।
सारादु समाव आं सानदोँमोन
आयंआ रौमारिनि बिखानिफ्राय
नैथि रुंसार जानाय सालगुरिनि
फेँखा।
रौमारिनि गाहाय थागिबि।
बेनि सिगाङाव आदै जाथिया
हरखाबै रुंसार जादोँमोन।
सिगांथाराव एम्बु होन्नाय
आं उन्दै समथाराव रुंसार
जादोँमोन।
दा बिनि रौमारियाव रोदा
फेँखा गैलिया।
आनै जान'खियानो बिनि
बिसिमोन होनना बुङो।
बेबो दा रौमारिनिफ्राय
खारलांबाय।
आय' मानसिनि सोलेर!
जिउखौबो हमथा हाया
सोलेरखौबो बेसे गोबाव
अनसायनो
जुदि अबंआ गोसो जायो।
बे समाव आं सान्दोँ-
आयंआ सानफ्रामबो
एसे एसे जौ लोङोमोन।
बियो नाथाय दुगायामोन।
आयंहा मोनसे गोसो दंमोन
बियो गावनि हायाव
मोसौ खाहोआमोन गुबुनखौ।
हाया गोरा जायो होनना
बियो बुङोमोन।
गामिनि अनलायना रायजो
जालायनाय गोजोनै
गावजोँगाव खर' सुंबोलायनाय
बयबो बिहा बिनि
बेयो बिनि मदद नागिरो।
माब्लाबा समाव आयंआ नुस्लाबै
मोसौखौ सोरबा सोरबा
खायोमोन।
नाथाय आयंआ उनाव नुब्ला
मोसौखौ खुन्थिया बुखुना
हगार हरोमोन।
बेयो आयंनि मोनसे
जोबोद गिदिर गोरोन्थिमोन।
जाहोनाव बायदि रोखोम
बाथ्राबो सावराय जायोमोन
सिरि सिरि।
मानोना जोबनाय गैयै अबंनि
सोरजिनायाव
सोरजिजानाय अबंनि फिसा
बयहाबो
थांना थानो
मदद नागिरो, अनसायो
मोन्थाय थायो।
नोँ आं जोँ गासैबो
सासेल' बिफा अबंनिब्ला
जोँहा सुंथालायनायनि गोनांथिया
दं।
मानोना जोँ थांगोन-
फिन सोरबा गोदान फैगोन।
थागिबि रौमारि गामिनि आयंआ
अन्थाव बाथाव बोरायसानि महर
मोनस्लाबैयावनो
हरखाब अबंनि लेँहरनायाव
थांनो गोनां जाबाय सोरगोआव।
24/05/2014
Tuesday Pixie Apr 2015
Dear diary,
Today I was inspired
See, for me they'd conspired
I've finally got the attention I'd desired!
And it's from that particularly dashingly gorgeously fabulous man!

I'd felt so alone
All I could do was moan
Even though I had a mirror-like clone
See, we weren't all that close except in physicality and proximity.

But now I could scream!
- with joy, I mean.
Oh I've been covered in cream!
Such beautiful, fabulous, marvellous and wonderful involvement as this!

His friends they remark
"Oh, what a lark!"
As we frollick in the park
And I haven't figured it all out, the why, the what,
It's not as if it bothers me one jot,
It's just,... well,
That dashingly gorgeously fabulous man,
They like to call him '******* Stan'.
Love is for all <3
Ronjoy Brahma Apr 2015
थाखो 10 खौ उट्रिनानै
कलेज फरायनाय समाव
सासे सेँग्राजोँ रं नाम्बार जादोँमोन आब'आ।
बेयो बेँलराव माबा खामानि मावोमोन
मोजाङै मिथिनायनि सुलुं गैया।
मिथिनोबो गोब्राबै नाजानाय जायाखै।
से बोसोर मोजां मोनलायनाय
फुरा जाया नङा जादोँमोन।
बेनो उनाव जानायसै
आफानि बिजामादै।
बेँलरनिफ्राय फैनाय समाव
बेयो जानांगौ बाथ्राखौ थिक सान्दोँ-
एसे साननि उनावनो
जोँहानि न'आव बियो सासे आलासि।
जायै- सावरायै आब'खौ लानानै थाङो
आलासि महरैसो,
हिनजाव गोदान नङा,
नाथाय बहा?
आब'आ फैफिननो बोलो गैया
बेजों बिनि जुलिया जालांबाय
आय- आफा आरो आंनि
सोरबा रायजोनि हेँथा बहा?
गैया गैया हेँथा गैया;
नाथाय जुलिया गमामायै जालांबाय।
घोरोमबादि गिर्जायाव जुलि
रायजो राजानि बोर आरो दान
हाजासे मदद।
दिनै बियो गोग्गा
गावनि फेरलेबसे गियानखौ लानानै।
आं मिथिगौ बेखौ
बिजिरनोबो हागौ
रायजो राजा बयबो मिथिगौ
बिसोरो नुदोँबो अराय।
बियो सोरनिबा रोँदोँ
बियो नाथाय मोनसे दाहारसो
सुखुनांगौ बे दाहारखौ
सोरखौबा फोरोँफिन्नानै मोजां।
मानोना बाथ्रा दं-
नोँनि रोँनाया नोँनि नङा
सोरबा सासेनिसो फोरोँनायाव।
बियो जौ लोङा
सिगारेड् बिरिबो सोबा?
नाथाय मोजोमसे गोग्गा
रावनिबो उन्दै नङा
रावनिबो गेजेन नङा
रावनिबो रोँसिनै नङा।
नुग्राया गोरोँखौ गोरोँ बुङो
रोङैखौ रोङै बुङो
फुं, सानजौफु, बेलासि, मोनाबिलि
सान- हर होन्नायबादि।
नाथाय खोनायोब्ला?
नंगौ नङा, जादोँ जायाखै
गियानजोँ बिजिरनांगौ जायो।
घोरोमजोँ नागिरनांगौ जायो।
20/05/2014
Poetic T Apr 2015
"Where do I begin"
It was mostly normal, then it wasn't.
I'd say it was *quick
but it wasn't,
**** the pain, never felt anything
like this, my flesh as if it was pealing
One layer at a time.

"I felt clammy"
"I felt bleak numbness"
"Then I felt nothing"


DAY ONE (Death)

I was eyed open, I had pasted in
Fear, vision bleached as if
No one was longer here, but
I saw all the tears, hands upon
My cold ridged chest. I could
Make out voices as if spoken
Far, but all was unclear.


DAY TWO (morgue)

I felt each blade cut upon me,
Violating my flesh, had  I not
Suffered in life, pain, anguish.
Now they handle me as if I
Were nothing, but parts to be
Throw on scales, is life weighed
Out, no dignity even in death.
I hear the voices, footsteps pass
My eyes are still open, my vision
Of aluminium surrounds. They
Stitched me, but I am neither
Whole or one. They took from
Me, I have no heart it is gone,
They itch its maddening I need
To touch but they rub on cold
Flesh touching dead bone.


WEEK  ONE (Coffin)

I hear tears as my gaze is forward
Never closed, no coins for the
Man of the river to find peace,
I'm now travelling all alone.
My eyes wide open, they touch
Upon my artificially kept skin,
Make up to hide those spots
Where death has prematurely
Set in. They cry their tears on
Wood they fall, some are
Meaningful, sorrow sensed
In there voice. Others are just
Show boating their grief, only
To see if there was anything in
The cookie jar now I'm gone.  


MONTH ONE (Enclosed Isolation)

The darkness is never changing,
Time has no meaning underground.
I scream in silence, my lips, vocals
Do not move but inside it reverberates
Around. Nice interior, soft on dead
Flesh. I saw it land on me, that blue bottle
Buzzing around, It sat upon me, did
What it wanted, now I feel them within.
If I were alive would this be a sensation
Of being ticked or horror as they eat
What is now decaying within.

MONTH SIX (Alone)

"I miss them"
But time moved on they feasted
For what was an eternity, consuming
Me, then upon themselves. Till all
Was still, and only death was
Welcomed once again in this
Lonely place of wood and bone.  
I am pure of the mortal world,
No flesh, sight unseen that went
Long ago. I am so isolated down
Here, no longer do I sense footsteps
Above, the mumbling of voices
Silenced never returning to this
Casket of torment in the darkness
I am trapped within alone.


YEAR??

I can see why the dead hate you all,
Leaving us in these dark prisons,
Why leave us like this, why not
Cremation let us in the essence
Of ash be free. I am trapped in this
White cage of bone, waiting  for that
Time when to dust it falls. I am a
Dead man hear me moan, You hear
Those noises in the graveyards, when
All is still. it is the dead in there prisons
Never free, till bone is to dust. I give
One warning to those above, burn
Your dead lest yourself you find
Trapped within a prison forsaken in this *shell.
anonymous999 Mar 2015
i kissed a boy today.
i didn't receive life from his lips,
i didn't feel love on his fingertips.
our lips just came together,
and i realized that
i miss your kisses.
even if i don't miss anything else about you.
Ronjoy Brahma Mar 2015
जेसेबां गोदानै सोलोँदोँ
थेवबो थाबोनाय गोजामखौबो
थैजासिम जोँ गोसोखाङो।
दिनै आंहा गोसोआव फैदोँ
गासैबो रोखा रोखा बेरखांदोँ।
थालिर बिफां।
उन्दै समाव थालिर मादाखौ
साखा साखा हानानै
गारि मटर बानायोमोन जोँ।
टेक्टर, ट्राक, लाइलन ट्राक
बायदि रोखोमनि गारि।
आंनि गामिनि लोगोफ्रा
गासैबो रोँजोबथारगौमोन।
थालिर बिफांखौ जोफायनाय
(जोना सिफायनाय)
सम सम सौफायनाय
जोँनि हुदा नंथारगौमोन।
गुना लानानै गान्थि गान्थि
खालामनानै
ओरै सासे ओरै सासे
दंफां हानाय बादि हाफायोमोन।
जोँनाव मोनसे गोसो दंमोन
अब्ला आयं देवबारहा
ग्रोम ग्रोम थालिर बागान दंमोन।
थालिर फिथाइ गोमोन थाब्ला
जोँ बांद्राय लुबैयोमोन
समाव जोँ खावनानै एब्रे खोमायोमोन
जिगाब नङाबा बहाबा
हाग्रायाव आरो
हाखर जावनानै जिगाब होना
फबना फोमोनोमोन।
बेसेबा गिदिर गिदिर
आदै दाबदं लांहानाव
थालिर आथिया दंमोन,
सम सम जोँ बेखौनो
जोफायनो बादि लायोमोन।
माब्लाबा होसो जानायबो
जायोमोन।
दिनै नाथाय थालिर मुराखौनो
सोरनावबा नुलिया,
सोरनावबा फांनै फांथामसो दं।
जाहुहा नङाबा आथियानि
फस्लाखौ ओंख्रि जायो,
बांसिन अमा बेदरजोँ लुबैयो
सोरनिबा सारादु जायोब्ला
अमाजोँ नङाब्ला दाउजोँ
थालिर फस्ला जायो
आंनि गामियाव दाबो
बेजों गोजोनो।
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