Endings lead to new beginnings.
One door closing makes several others open.
Ideally, before the new door **** is spinning,
the old door should be locked with all ties broken.

This corridor between the past and future
makes my cautious and indecisive mind spin.
Invitations from new doors feel like sutures
closing up the emotional wounds on my skin.

The corridor of choices feels like I’m in limbo
constantly being pulled in different directions
surrounded by doors when all I want is a window
which could answer my simple questions.

A window inside the doors allowing a sneak peak
of what life would look like and what may lie ahead.
Would I be happy with him and finally feel peace?
Or will coming home to him be something I dread?

But unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way
and you don’t get spoilers that help you make decisions.
You’re supposed to just breathe, turn that doorknob, and pray
that what stands behind it waiting for you fits your idyllic vision.

Sometimes you need to look back
To see over your shoulder the past,
To remember what brought you luck
And what withered away so fast.

Sometimes you need to look foward
To see the paths that lays down,
To imagine your way even if it's hard
And to realise the happyness sound.

Sometimes you need to look in the mirror
To see your eyes and what's inside,
To learn what you became in life's scissors
And to face yourself with pride.

Sometimes you need to look at the one beside you
To know that he's the reflexion of yourself,
To feel the energy of the self truth
And to the voice of others to not be deaf.

what if my fate lies
on a silver surface?
my plans and doubts
all thrown into a furnace.
be still and figure out
what your heart yearns for

flip the silver coin,
then flip it once more.

i can't hide, no more
i feel washed ashore
i wish i showed more
what is all this for

my head and my heart both ache
how many more pills can i take
is it all placebo in the end
can i become the hero again
or will i just go down a villain
and hate myself for my decisions
i can't be alone, yet i can't leave home
staring at these mold spots that have grown
even thinking makes me feel sick
sometimes i doubt i'll make it through the week
so many wrong things i can't pick one
i've been longing for just a ray of sun
happiness dies fast and regrets last
i even stopped caring about my eyebags
replaying those moments like they'll be different
and i keep asking myself what was missing

I can't decide,don't know what to do,
I look around but I find no clue.
Is it some other quest of life too?
I can't decide,I can't even move...

If there was as many stars at the sky as your decisions not to give up before your reach to the destiny ,you would be blind.
Do you really wanna throw away all those stars already collected just because you wanna see small moon called comfort.

Remember
When you will have no night cycle in your life.. you will be blessed. But you cannot reach it here.. In our small world. World we name reality .

Do you ever wonder of the love that could have been?
Of the one that makes you feel seen?
That makes you feel understood

If only your misaligned fates could be rewritten
If only words and looks could be enough
If only comfort wasn't so deceiving, like an insect trapped in the sticky sweetness of molasses  
If only you could claw them out of your conscience

Because another has arrived in their stead
Has swept you off your feet and grounded you all at once
Has shown you that you do not need to know or completely understand
To appreciate, to love, to respect

Because despite your differences they have offered you their life
They have asked for yours in return
You want to give them that and more
You want to show them how much you appreciate being taught that taking the plunge does not mean drowning
That you can find refuge in the unknown

But how do you stop longing for your soulmate when you've found the love of your life?

I am powerfully drawn toward and yet must remain cautions
one false word out of context is ruination
of my career, my life
wrong word – bad time – didn’t mean it
out of context - will all add up

I am weary and need to be held
2019 social media kangaroo-court will tag me
an “inappropriate predator”
my physical person has need that cannot be
expressed as or when I want

I am lost in spirit hoping to find some direction
time was when I could free-spirit my way
through just about anything
my years have found me, I recognize my own shadow,
the spirit has since left

I am torn between heart and head
strong enough in both as in body with rational ability
to decide between the two
knowing that one decision will have consequences
for the other - and others

I am alone with my thoughts undecided
your hair bundled to one side an invitation to caress,
converse and be loved
yet I want no part of my bad things happening
to your good people

on the edge of a cliff
the wind blowing steadily at my back
the path ahead precariously thin

another step, and the ground shall disappear
into a tightrope pulled taut
across the empty space beneath

tilting, breathing;
i am a moment away from losing my balance

at the end, fog.
shapes form but everything blurs
moving indiscriminately with the wind

behind me, the way is shut
forever.

before me, i search for courage to go forward